2012 MIDSEASON TV PREVIEW

Wouldn't you know, just as we're starting to settle into all the new shows we got this fall - just as we've decided which ones we love, which ones we hate - just as we learn which have been renewed and which have been canceled - we now get a brand new set of premieres to eat up all of our precious free time.  To help you keep track of the abundant midseason premieres, here's a brief look at what's coming in the next few months.

Like I did for fall, I hereby solemnly pledge to watch at least the pilot episode of every one of these shows and let you know how they are.  I will grade every show on a four-point scale as follows:

* Atrocious. I will never watch this show again. Ever.
** Okay. I may give it another episode or two to see if gets better.
*** Solid. I'm interested and will definitely keep watching.
**** Certifiably ADDICTive. A must-see.

Here we go!

Sun Jan. 1 - ANGRY BOYS (HBO @ 10)
From Chris Lilley, the man who brought us the brilliantly hysterical and endlessly entertaining SUMMER HEIGHTS HIGH comes this new sitcom.  Following the same format as his previous show, ANGRY BOYS is written by Lilley who also stars as several different characters: Ruth Sims, a 65-year-old employee at the Garingal Juvenile Justice Centre For Boys; S. Mouse, a rap artist under house arrest for releasing a single called "Poo On You" featuring him pooping on a police car; Blake Oakfield, a Surfing World Champion who had his balls shot off during a gang fight; Jen Okazaki, a Japanese mother and founder of "Gaystyle Enterprises"; and Daniel and Nathan Sims, identical twins living on a farm, one of whom has a hearing impairment.

Tues Jan. 3 - WORK IT (ABC @ 8:30)
Continuing their horrific sexist streak started by Tim Allen in LAST MAN STANDING, ABC next launches this soul-crushing "comedy" about two men who discover that women are taking over the workforce, and therefore they must pass themselves off as women to land jobs.  That's right, folks.  A cross-dressing comedy in the 21st century that manages to insult both men (too stupid to get jobs) AND women (too stupid to notice their coworkers are actually men)!

Sun Jan. 8 - THE FIRM (NBC @ 10)
Based on the John Grisham novel of the same title, this show stars Josh Lucas (POSEIDON) as attorney Mitchell McDeere.  The series picks up 10 years after the events of the novel as Mitchell and his family emerge from a life in the Witness Protection Program.  Presumably, thrillingly legal (or legally thrilling?) shenanigans ensue.  Also starring Tricia Helfer (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA).

Sun Jan. 8 - HOUSE OF LIES (SHO @ 10)
Don Cheadle and Kristen Bell star in this new comedy about management consultants who charm and con the 1% into spending oodles of dough on their services.

Wed Jan. 11 - ARE YOU THERE, CHELSEA? (NBC @ 8:30)
This new comedy was inspired by Chelsea Handler's popular memoir Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea.  It stars Laura Prepon (THAT 70s SHOW) as Chelsea, loosely based on the real Chelsea.  Ironically, Chelsea Handler has a recurring role as Sloane, Chelsea's born-again conservative Christian sister.

Thurs Jan. 12 - THE FINDER (FOX @ 9)
This procedural is a spinoff of BONES starring Geoff Stults as Walter Sherman, a professional "finder." He got his start working for Army Military Police finding insurgents and deserters.  Now, after waking from a coma due to an unfortunate incident with an IED, he helps the likes of Booth and Brennan solve mysteries.  Also stars Michael Clarke Duncan.

Thurs Jan. 12 - ROB (CBS @ 9:30)
Originally entitled the much more explanatory ¡Rob! (the title was changed because the media hates weird punctuation), this sitcom stars Rob Schneider as a life-long bachelor who marries into a tight-knight Mexican-American family.  Hilarious clash-of-culture confusion will follow, no doubt.  Cheech Marin also stars as his new father-in-law.

Sun Jan. 15 - NAPOLEON DYNAMITE (FOX @ 8:30)
Based on the film of the same name (obviously), this animated show stars the voices of the entire original cast in new supremely awkward adventures.

Mon Jan. 16 - ALCATRAZ (FOX @ 8)
One of the shows I'm personally looking forward to the most, this new sci-fi show returns producer J.J. Abrams to his mysterious island roots - this time on the island prison Alcatraz.  According to the show, almost fifty years every inmate disappeared - and now they're starting to reappear, murdering people and having apparently not aged a day since their incarceration.  The series stars Sarah Jones (SONS OF ANARCHY), Jorge Garcia (LOST) and Sam Neill (JURASSIC PARK).

Thurs Jan. 19 - UNSUPERVISED (FX @ 10:30)
From the writers of IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA and the artists of ARCHER comes this new animated comedy about two high school friends (voiced by Justin Long and David Hornsby) who live a life completely devoid of parental guidance.

Sun Jan. 29 - LUCK (HBO @ 9)
Directed by Michael Mann (PUBLIC ENEMIES), written by David Milch (DEADWOOD) and starring Dustin Hoffman, this drama centers around the world of horse racing, from the owners to the jockeys to the gamblers.

Thurs Feb. 2 - I JUST WANT MY PANTS BACK (MTV @ 11)
Based on the novel of the same name, this show follows a twenty-something who has a one-night-stand and then loses his heart...and his pants.  The hunt is on for his skinny jeans and the girl of his dreams who stole them.

Mon Feb. 6 - SMASH (NBC @ 10)
Are you ready for even more singing and dancing on primetime network television?  This new musical drama produced by Steven Spielberg has been described countless times as "the adult GLEE."  It follows the complete journey of a (fictional) Broadway musical based on the life of Marilyn Monroe, from conception and casting all the way to opening night and stars a veritable who's-who of talented actors: Debra Messing, Anjelica Huston, Brian d'Arcy James, Megan Hilty, Katharine McPhee and Jack Davenport, among others.

Tues Feb. 7 - THE RIVER (ABC @ 9)
Another sci-fi thriller (and another on my most-anticipated list), this one stars Bruce Greenwood (STAR TREK) as a wilderness explorer who goes missing in the Amazon rainforest.  Six months later, his emergency beacon goes off and his wife (Leslie Hope - 24) and son (Joe Anderson - ACROSS THE UNIVERSE) go in search of him, followed by a documentary film crew.  What they find may defy explanation.  The show combines the increasingly-popular faux-documentary found-footage style with the sci-fi chills of shows like LOST, hopefully to satisfying effect.  This is the second show premiering in as many nights that was produced by Steven Spielberg, and the pilot was directed by Oren Peli (PARANORMAL ACTIVITY).  I. Cannot. Wait.

Sun Feb. 19 - LIFE'S TOO SHORT (HBO @ 10:30)
HBO is re-airing this British comedy for American audiences.  It is a faux-documentary starring Warwick Davis (HARRY POTTER) as a loosely-fictionalized version of himself trying to worm his way back into the spotlight.  Ricky Gervais writes, produces and co-stars, and the show features cameos from various celebrities such as Liam Neeson, Johnny Depp and Sting.

Sun Mar. 4 - G.C.B. (ABC @ 10)
Shortened from Good Christian Belles which was retitled from Good Christian Bitches, G.C.B. stars Leslie Bibb as Amanda, a reformed mean girl who returns to her Texas hometown years later and must reap what she sowed in high school.  Kristin Chenoweth co-stars as a former ugly duckling who Amanda tortured in high school and is now intent on revenge.  Hopefully she'll bring the same bubbly charm she did to the tragically-short-lived PUSHING DAISIES.

Thurs Mar. 15 - MISSING (ABC @ 8)
Ashley Judd stars in this action drama about an ex-CIA agent whose son goes missing while studying abroad in Rome.  She travels to Europe and uses her agent training to follow the clues, fight the bad guys and find her son.  Also starring Sean Bean (GAME OF THRONES).

Mon Mar. 19 - TOUCH (FOX @ 9)
Jack Bauer returns to television!  Okay, Kiefer Sutherland returns to television, but that's almost as good.  In this new drama he stars as the single father of a mute autistic boy whose mental handicap may allow him to predict the future through patterns no one else can see.  Look for lots of scientific and spiritual discussions in this preternatural series.  (There will be a special airing of the pilot on Wed Jan. 25 @ 9, although the official premiere is Mar. 19 and its regular airing will be on Monday nights.)

*****

The following series have been announced as airing sometime in 2012, but have yet to secure an actual premiere date (some could be saved for as late as summer).

*****

AWAKE (NBC)
Jason Isaacs (HARRY POTTER) stars as a husband and father who finds himself living in two realities after a horrific car accident: one where his wife died but his son survived, and one where his son died but his wife survived.  He then has to try to make sense of these alternate realities while grappling with wanting to keep them both.

BENT (NBC)
Amanda Peet and Jeffrey Tambor (ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT) star in this comedy written by Tad Quill (SCRUBS) about a divorced lawyer raising an eight-year-old daughter and the womanizing contractor she hires to redo her kitchen (Tambor plays the contractor's just-as-womanizing father).

BFF (NBC)
Lennon Parham and Jessica St. Clair write and star in this show about two BFFs, coincidentally named Lennon and Jessica, who move back in together after one of them gets a divorce.  This is bad news for the other friend's live-in boyfriend, and results in undoubtedly hilarious hijinks and awkward situations.

DON'T TRUST THE B---- IN APARTMENT 23 (ABC)
Dreama Walker stars in this comedy about a naive Midwestern girl who moves to NYC and puts an ad out for a roommate...only to land with the snarky, conniving Chloe, played by co-star Krysten Ritter.  The two descend into a battle of bitchiness, with Krysten Ritter aided by her bff James Van Der Beek (appearing as himself).

THE NEWSROOM (HBO)
Aaron Sorkin, the writer behind THE WEST WING and THE SOCIAL NETWORK returns to TV with this new drama for HBO about the inner workings of a 24 hour news network.  Sorkin's pedigree has attracted a slew of top-notch actors: Jeff Daniels, Jane Fonda, Emily Mortimer, Alison Pill, Dev Patel, Sam Waterston...the list goes on.

NYC 22 (CBS)
Executive produced by Robert De Niro, this crime procedural follows six rookie cops in the NYPD as they patrol the streets of upper Manhattan.

SCANDAL (ABC)
From über-producer Shonda Rimes (GREY'S ANATOMY) comes this new drama loosely based on the life of Judy Smith, administration press aide under George H.W. Bush.  It stars Kerry Washington (RAY) as Olivia Pope, a professional crisis manager and former media relations consultant to the president, and her staff of "fixers."  Also starring Henry Ian Cusick (LOST) and Jeff Perry (GREY'S).

VEEP (HBO)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus stars in this comedy as Senator Selina Meyer, who becomes the first female Vice President.  The show comes from British writer Armando Ianucci, who previously satirized the British government in the popular IN THE THICK OF IT (which spawned the feature film IN THE LOOP).  This series should be premiering sometime in April.


That about does it!  26 more shows to look forward to between now and the warm summer months.  And, if I dare say so, fewer look as blatantly bad as some of the fall premieres were (here's looking at you, HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN and THE PLAYBOY CLUB) - with the exception of WORK IT, which I predict will last at most two episodes.  I'm excited for quite a few of these shows (namely ALCATRAZ, SMASH, THE RIVER, AWAKE, G.C.B. and TOUCH).  I hope they turn out to be as good as they look!  On second thought, I should probably be hoping they're terrible or I'm going to have an awfully busy television schedule every week...

Which midseason premieres are you excited for? (Pick as many as you want!)

Mission Accomplished: A Review of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL

Expected grade: 8/10
Actual grade: 10/10

Now THIS is how you do an action movie, ladies and gentleman.

I've always loved the MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE series, as I'm a sucker for the intrigue of spy dramas and  the action of big-budget blockbusters.  (Well, let me be more specific.  I love the first and third M:I entries -- I had never even seen the much-derided second one until two days ago -- and it definitely deserves all the ridicule it gets.)  So I was thrilled when I heard they were reviving the franchise, especially considering the creative minds involved (more on that in a bit).  I thought the trailer looked fantastic -- I was prepared for a fun, mind-numbing, popcorn-munching time in the theatre.  I got so much more.

Five years after the last mission, Tom Cruise returns to the classic action franchise, this time directed by Brad Bird in his live-action feature debut.  Mr. Bird is best known for his work directing for Pixar, most notably (and relevantly) THE INCREDIBLES.  Forget the fact that it was animated, THE INCREDIBLES was perhaps the best action film of 2004.  JJ Abrams, who breathed new gritty life into the M:I series after the completely ludicrous second entry, returns for this one as producer.  The collaboration of Mr. Abrams' and Mr. Bird's hyper-creative minds results in the most thrilling, adrenaline-pumping action flick in recent memory and hands down the best film in the series.

Mr. Bird's background in animation is perhaps the film's strongest asset -- his adeptness at staging elaborate set pieces (including a jaw-dropping magic trick involving an empty hallway and a final showdown in a constantly-shifting parking garage) and his ability to infuse tense sequences with a sense of zingy fun is apparent and much-needed.  (As much as I enjoyed Abrams' M:I3, my only qualm was how serious everything was.)  Mr. Bird is aided immensely in the humor department by the presence of Simon Pegg (SHAUN OF THE DEAD) as the awkward techno-geek Benji, whose (regrettably brief) headquarters appearance in M:I3 has been upgraded to full-blown field agent and sidekick.  The rest of the supporting cast is just as solid if not as showy: Paula Patton (PRECIOUS) as the emotionally-troubled yet kick-ass Jane, and Jeremy Renner (THE HURT LOCKER) as Brandt, an "analyst" with a secret past.  The film is packed with brilliant cameos (a couple of which I won't spoil here) -- Josh Holloway (LOST) packs a punch in a brief sequence at the beginning; Anil Kapoor (SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE) hams it up as a billionaire playboy; Léa Seydoux (INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS) infuses her few scenes with a palpable sense of danger as a steely-cold assassin.

Tom Cruise will most likely (and ironically) receive the least applause of all the cast members, as this is now the fourth time we've seen him in the role and he still has a less-than-sterling reputation with many people.  But it is impossible to deny his abilities (not to mention balls of steel) when watching this movie.  Notorious for doing most of his own stunts, it's impossible not to gape in amazement as he scales the side of the Burj Khalifa.  Sure, he was assisted by wires that were edited out in post-production, but that doesn't change the fact that Tom Cruise himself was climbing up the outside of the FREAKING BURJ KHALIFA.  You know, the tallest building in the world at 2,723 feet.  The fact that the stunt was filmed on the actual tower itself and not on a green screen lends the sequence a dizzying sense of realism, made even more pronounced in vertigo-inducing IMAX.

In fact, next to the elaborately-choreographed action and infusion of fun, it's this sense of realism that sets GHOST PROTOCOL above its contemporary action peers.  In a time when, aided by increasingly-powerful special effects, action is becoming ever slicker and sleeker, it's surprising and refreshing to see an action film inhabited by fallible characters.  Nothing goes right for these people.  Ever.  Their improvised plans never go smoothly.  They mess up.  Their emotions get the best of them.  They're not perfect.  When Tom Cruise takes a flying leap through a window, he doesn't sail through in a somersault and leap to his feet -- he smacks hard against the windowsill, spins out of control, and nearly plummets to his doom.  The technology, too, consistently fails the agents -- mask-makers run out of paint, sticky gloves run out of batteries, scanner-contacts get scratchy.  Not only do these failings make the movie more realistic, they make it more fun, too.  When technology fails them, the agents have to improvise, ratcheting up the tension to an almost-unbearable degree.

Ratcheting up the tension is maybe what this film does best.  Mr. Bird and the screenwriters take every seemingly-impossible situation -- and carry it one step further.  Ethan has to break out of prison...during a riot.  He has to scale the outside of a skyscraper...with a defective glove.  He has to chase down the nuclear codes...through a blinding sandstorm.  I had to put down my popcorn about halfway through the film just so I could grip the armrests of my seat.  I forgot about it for the rest of the film.

Seriously, if you've ever liked an action movie, ever, do yourself a favor and go see this.  In IMAX, if you can.  In an IMAX screening that's showing the 6-minute THE DARK KNIGHT RISES prologue, if at all possible.  (That's a whole discussion unto itself, but let me just say... Holy Smokes, Batman.)

I give this film a 10 out of 10 for the sheer scope of the superbly-staged action, just the right amount of humor, realistic stunts, and eye-popping IMAX experience.  In terms of taking a sometimes-great, sometimes-ludicrous series and turning it into a viable, respectable, enjoyable franchise, I say to Mr. Bird, Mr. Abrams and Mr. Cruise: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

What did you think, Fellow Addicts?  Were you as dizzily impressed as I was?  Or did the action fail to deliver?  Are you hoping for a fifth M:I film?  (After this, I know I am.)  Vote in the poll below and then hit the comments!

What did you think of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL?

ABC pulls plug on MAN UP!

Man down, man down! ABC has announced that they are pulling freshman comedy MAN UP! from its schedule.  Things were already looking grim for the show after it didn't appear anywhere on ABC's midseason schedule, but now the show has effectively been canceled.

The signs were there, although MAN UP! wasn't actually performing terribly, with its latest episode pulling in 8.8 million viewers with a 1.6 rating.  The straw that broke ABC's back was the fact that it was losing a full 40% of its lead-in audience, Tim Allen's LAST MAN STANDING.  Reruns of that show will now take MAN UP!s place.

How do you feel about MAN UP! getting (basically) canceled?

PilotWatch: I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER

FOX Wednesdays @ 9:30

What's it about?
A new multi-camera family comedy starring Jaime Pressly and Katie Finneran as single moms, best friends - and former nerds - who fear their privileged and overly indulged daughters are turning out just like the mean girls who picked on them in high school.

So, how was it?
This is the second CBS sitcom of the season to accidentally find itself airing on the wrong network.  I'm referring, of course, to the painfully unfunny WHITNEY, whose crass humor and laugh track would be completely at home on CBS next to TWO AND A HALF MEN and feels distinctly out of place on the network that brings us 30 ROCK and PARKS AND RECREATION.  And now FOX is airing I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER, where the ever-present laugh track, two-dimensional characters and obnoxious humor again bring to mind the sub-par-yet-inexplicably-popular sitcoms of CBS.

As far as can be judged by the first half hour, I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER has the same problem as FOX's last new premiere, ALLEN GREGORY: absolutely none of the characters are likable.  The eponymous teenagers are indistinguishably bratty, with absolutely no personality trait outside of "selfish."  These two characters would have us believe that all every teenage daughter wants is to be popular, wear slutty clothes, and be mean to their moms (which may or may not be true).  But the bigger problem is that the two moms, Annie (Pressly) and Nikki (Finneran) are too pathetic to be relatable.  They are too easily threatened, too easily defeated, and too easily manipulated by their 15-year-olds.  It's impossible to sympathize with a grown woman who lets herself be walked all over by her own tweeny child, much less one who eats an entire cherry pie with her fingers.  The show would be more appropriately titled: I AM DEATHLY AFRAID OF MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER.

Granted, I'm not a middle-aged woman with a teenage daughter, so I'm sure I'm not the target audience of this specific sitcom.  I don't doubt that this show will find an audience somewhere.  The first episode had a decent premiere with 6.8 million viewers and a 2.8 rating (though this was undoubtedly helped by the fact that ABC's comedy block was entirely reruns last night).

Rating:
** Okay. I may give it another episode or two to see if it gets better.
Truth be told, I probably won't ever watch this show again, but all in all it wasn't exactly atrocious.  Jaime Pressly and Katie Finneran are genuinely good comedic actresses, some of the jokes were funny, and Wendi McLendon-Covey (BRIDESMAIDS) has a delightful supporting role as the girls' principal and former high school rival of the mothers.  This show is just not for me -- someone who despises laugh tracks, prefers strong characters, and has never been a mother.  But I would not be surprised to see this show get a full season pickup if it doesn't lose too much of its initial audience.


Well, that's it!  Our last new show of 2011.  No more premieres until after the New Year.  Have a very happy holidays, Fellow Addicts.  Remember to keep an eye out for SCREEN ADDICTION's Mid-Season Preview, and then join PilotWatch for reviews of shows like ABC's G.C.B., NBC's SMASH and FOX's TOUCH.

What did you think of I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER?