The Perfect Combination Of Sexy And Cute: A Review of CRAZY STUPID LOVE

Expected grade: 7/10

Actual grade: 9/10

(For a full explanation of my grading system, check out this post.)

Once in a blue moon, a comedy will come out that is made by adults for adults, and doesn't rely on bathroom humor for laughs. (Not that such humor doesn't have its time and place: see the side-splittingly funny bridal shop scene from BRIDESMAIDS.) CRAZY STUPID LOVE is one of those rare gems. It takes the popular form of dramas such as CRASH and BABEL -- a sprawling story with an ensemble of characters whose relationships are slowly revealed and come together for a cathartic climax -- and applies it for laughs instead of tears. (It's also more successful at getting those laughs than either of those movies were at getting tears, but that's another story.) The talents of Steve Carell, Julianne Moore, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Marissa Tomei, Kevin Bacon, and relative newcomers Analeigh Tipton and Jonah Bobo are put to superb use. Given this cast and the promising trailer, I was expecting a good comedy. What I got was a great film.

In nine cases out of ten, meandering is the death of a film. It tends to kill the forward momentum and bog the film down in superfluous side plots. But this film thrives on it. It continually jumps sideways from plot line to plot line, not erratically but deliberately, focusing equal time on every character and fleshing out their tangled lives. And fortunately for the audience, their lives are pretty interesting. There's Cal (Carell), a bored middle aged man who just found out his wife Emily (Moore) is cheating on him and wants a divorce. There's Cal's son Robbie (Bobo), who has a crush on his babysitter (Tipton), who has a crush on Cal. There's Jacob (Gosling), the ladykiller who takes Cal under his well-tailored wing. And there's Hannah (Stone), a feisty young woman struggling to find herself, who lands in Jacob's laser-like scope. These are all real people, complex and layered, struggling internally to come to terms with who they are and what they want from life.

Dan Fogelman, the screenwriter (whose biggest credits to date are Cars, Bolt and Tangled), brings each character brilliantly to life. His biggest risk and greatest achievement is in making these people imperfect. They all act selfishly and hypocritically and do things it would be easy to disapprove of, yet you still love them and can tell they love each other. They are human, in other words. Steve Carell, famous for playing insecure boy-men, transcends that shtick for this performance. He's still insecure, but that insecurity is now emanating from a fully-grown man who has lost his way and is desperately searching for solid ground. Julianne Moore is emotionally torn as the woman who betrayed her husband, and doesn't know whether or not she wants him back in her life. Ryan Gosling is pitch-perfect as the womanizer who distracts himself from his own imperfections by pointing out the imperfections in others (specifically Cal). Emma Stone is a shining presence of youthful energy as she continues her streak of fantastic performances (she is going to have a terrific career). Marissa Tomei as Kate is adorably frenetic as the recovering alcoholic Cal chooses to get over his wife with. And both Tipton and Bobo match their wits with the adults around them easily in surprisingly mature performances.

There are several standout scenes here. The first that comes to mind is the first night that Jacob and Hannah spend together. It doesn't turn out how either of them expected, but it's sweet, funny, and incredibly real. Gosling and Stone achieve a chemistry that is truly delightful to watch. You can't help but smile as the beguiling Hannahs slowly breaks down Jacob's very deliberate walls. The second is the inevitable but still surprising interaction between Cal, his wife Emily, and his hookup Kate. Marissa Tomei almost had me in tears. And last but not least is perhaps the best scene in the film, towards the end, when all the storylines finally converge in one manic, explosive, hysterical scene that had me laughing the hardest I've laughed since BRIDESMAIDS. Watching all these disparate storylines and complex characters finally come together was an incredibly satisfying experience, and well worth the meandering path we'd taken to get there.

You will not laugh out loud as many times as you did during BRIDESMAIDS, and you will not get to live vicariously through badly-behaved men romping through Bangkok (if that's your thing). Both those films were full of characters who were either broad caricatures (Zach Galifianakis), or writ large for the purposes of comedy (Kristen Wiig). In CRAZY STUPID LOVE, the characters are nuanced, layered and real. There is as much sadness and melancholy in this film as there is happiness, but that's life. These characters don't always do the right thing, but they never stop trying. They're crazy, they're stupid, and they're in love -- and that's wonderful, but it's also not easy. This ensemble pulls that conflict off to charming perfection.

In short, this film is more concerned with getting to know the characters and exploring their complexities than it is with something as cliche as a "plot." This may bother some people and leave them yearning for the simplicity of cowboys shooting at aliens, but I found it refreshing and effective. With lesser actors and lesser writing, it could have easily failed. And I'm happy to report that it doesn't. With its suburban California setting and themes of people doing bad things to the people they love, this film was reminiscent of last year's THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT (and both starred Julianne Moore, funnily enough). I can easily see CRAZY STUPID LOVE occupying that film's "comedy slot" in this year's Oscar race. It is funny, it is sad, but most of all, it is true. True to its characters, true to life, and true to love.

How The West Was Almost Blown Up By Aliens: A Review of COWBOYS & ALIENS

Expected grade: 7/10

Actual grade: 5/10

(For a full explanation of my grading system, check out this post.)

It's hard to know what to expect when mashing together two completely different genres that have never been combined before. But with Jon Favreau (of IRON MAN fame) directing, Steven Spielberg producing, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman (both of ALIAS, STAR TREK and FRINGE) and Damon Lindelof (of LOST) writing, and Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford starring, it seemed like a sure bet of a solid summer action film. And while the film does have some cool action scenes, that's unfortunately about it. It doesn't amount to much more than the sum of its parts, which is disappointing, considering the talent involved and the potential it had.

COWBOYS & ALIENS was probably the most blunt, "this-is-exactly-what-the-film-is-about" title since SNAKES ON A PLANE, and most people probably expected a certain level of camp because of it -- maybe not as tongue-in-cheek as the infamous Sammy Jackson picture, but I thought it would be hard to watch a bunch of dusty cowboys face off against high-tech spaceships without dipping into campiness. I was wrong. This film's biggest misstep is in taking itself too seriously.

This film could have thrived on wit, pointing out the inherent absurdities of the concept. Instead, everything was played straight, and unfortunately, in a film about nothing more than a bunch of cowboys fighting a bunch of aliens, there's nothing all that dramatically serious to latch onto emotionally. Considering how effectively Jon Favreau combined eye-popping action with zingy one-liners in the terrific IRON MAN, these tonal difficulties are surprising. He could've used a bit more of Robert Downey Jr's energy here. The closest this film comes to wit is when the cowboys refer to the aliens as "demons," since they are obviously living in a time when extraterrestrial life wasn't even on the radar -- they assume that the creatures attacking them have come from hell itself.

Speaking of the creatures, I do have to give props to the design. They are effectively frightening -- something of a mix between the creature from ALIEN and the monster from CLOVERFIELD. They are vicious and deadly, and my favorite parts of the movie were when they were running around, wreaking havoc. Unfortunately, that havoc was in surprisingly short supply. Apart from a few isolated attacks, there is very little actual Cowboy vs. Alien action until the climax of the film. Other than that, there's a lot of riding around in the desert, with grown men growling at each other, and scene after scene of people trying to convince other people that they have to work together. There's a lot of talk in this film, and none of it compelling or emotionally stirring.

Fortunately, most of that talking is done by Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford and Sam Rockwell, all three of whom are terrific here. Daniel Craig appears born to play a cowboy, the rugged lines on his face as deep as the canyons he fights his way through. He's a man of few words, and carries a focused intensity in his eyes as he struggles to remember his mysterious past. (Alas, the secret of his amnesia is neither particularly surprising nor all that interesting once we get there. And remember, no matter how bad a guy you were before, amnesia always makes you noble and decent!) I was a little worried about Harrison Ford initially -- he seemed to be playing almost a parody of himself. But as the film went on, he settled more comfortably into his role, as he morphed from less of an outright villain into more of the prickly, misunderstood gruff guy he plays to a tee. And Sam Rockwell is always a delight, taking whatever supporting role he's given and making it his own. Here he gets to be the local doctor/bartender (a combo that has unfortunately gone out of style), driven to discover a new side of himself after his wife is kidnapped by the aliens.

Olivia Wilde is the one weak link in the main cast. She comes in second only to Blake Lively-as-fighter-pilot for the most unbelievable casting choice of the summer. With her perfectly done makeup and perfectly trimmed eyebrows and perfectly styled hair, she looks like she stepped out of the pages of a magazine, not Arizona in 1873. For half the movie, I was expecting her to turn out to be an alien herself, and ****SPOILER ALERT***** I was right! In a weak twist, it turns out she's the last survivor of another race the aliens wiped out and has come to seek revenge, inexplicably in human form. So maybe this explains why she looks so perfect all the time, but you think she could have dirtied herself up a bit to blend in better. But of course Ms. Wilde must look immaculate. *****END SPOILERS*****

All of this is not to say I didn't enjoy myself. The film is not outright terrible, but it squandered its potential to be great. With less talk, more action; less drama more camp; less backstory more forward momentum, this film could have been a fun, fast sci-fi romp through the wild west, doing for cowboys what Pirates of the Caribbean did for pirates, and revive an all-but-dead genre. As it is, it's decidedly average summer fare, good at the time but leaving no lasting impression. It even lacks action scenes unique or adrenaline-pumping enough to bump it up a notch, ala Transformers. I was hoping that a concept as simple as "cowboys vs. aliens!" would yield unexpectedly fun results. But as it turns out, a simple concept yields only a simple film.

Side note - Before the film, we were treated to the trailer for next May's action flick BATTLESHIP, based on the popular board game. Of course, the ships' radars are jammed so they can't see each other, and they fire P.E.G. missiles (that's right...pegs...) that slam into the sides of the ships in neat little rows. And the kicker? Those ships the Navy is fighting? Alien spaceships. Remember those pesky aliens from the board game? You don't? Hmm, me neither. Oh well, get ready for SAILORS & ALIENS. Looks like Misters Favreau and Craig have spawned a new genre, and its future already looks bleak.

The Value Of Strength: A Review of CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER

Expected grade: 6/10

Actual grade: 7/10

(For a full explanation of my grading system, check out this post.)

I went into this movie knowing very little about CAPTAIN AMERICA other than what I had seen in trailers, and that he would be one of the Avengers in next summer's superhero orgy directed by Joss Whedon, so I didn't know entirely what to expect. I knew it took place in the same universe as IRON MAN and THOR, and I was therefore hopeful that it would be as good as the former, but fearful of it being as underwhelming as the latter. Turns out it fell somewhere between, probably more on par with IRON MAN's not-quite-as-good-but-still-decent sequel.

First, a run-down on what the film does best:

RETRO THROWBACKS: Perhaps the best part of this film is its old-school nostalgia. It verges on campiness a few times (especially in an unexpected yet inspired musical montage about halfway through), but never becomes a joke. The over-the-top German accents, the mad scientists, the mountain fortress, the war propaganda; they all lend themselves to a good old-fashioned atmosphere. That antiquity oddly makes the film feel fresh -- it's different from the typical ultra-modern gloss put on most blockbusters these days. X-MEN: FIRST CLASS achieved a similar retro throwback. Coincidence that they were the two best superhero films this summer? Me thinks not.

A LOVE INTEREST THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME WANT TO PUNCH SOMETHING: One of my biggest complaints about THOR was its waste of Natalie Portman and the utter lack of any truth in her relationship with the superhero. Hayley Atwell, while not showing off any Oscars on her mantel, plays a far more likable love interest as the inexplicably British Peggy Carter. She's feisty, she's smart, she breaks the rules, she can throw a good punch, and she shows interest in the hero before he becomes a hero instead of just swooning like a fourteen-year-old over his abs (here's looking at you, Natalie). She does do a little swooning after his transformation, but who wouldn't? The point is, those abs are just an added bonus for her on top of a guy she already likes. Mind you, she's still the love interest in a superhero movie, and therefore doesn't really have a complex identity outside of her relationship with the hero. But if Natalie Portman in THOR and Blake Lively in GREEN LANTERN are her competition this summer, she's leaps and bounds ahead of both of them. Of course, she and Captain America still come in a distant second to the most believable superhero romance of the summer. I'm referring, of course, to Professor X and Magneto.

CHRIS EVANS: Apart from apparently being chiseled from solid marble, Chris Evans brings life and believability to Steve Rogers, aka Captain America. Seriously, the swelling score and dramatic reveal of his new-and-improved body plays like an absurd advertisement for celebrity trainers. But there's more to this character than just brawn, surpassing the pure Playgirl beefcake-ness that was Chris Hemsworth as Thor. It helps that when we first get to know Steve Rogers, he's a puny runt of a guy who can't win. This character is much more readily likable and relatable than Thor, who is a cocky, whiny "god" from the moment we meet him. It's hard to root for that character. In his more vulnerable, weaker state, we can't help but root for Steve Rogers -- Epitome of the Underdog. Chris Evans' greatest achievement is maintaining that vulnerability and weakness even once he's acting with his full-on Olympian physique. You can feel that he never left that underdog behind, and that sensibility is what makes him such a good hero. As it's said in the movie: Only the weak can know the true value of strength. It's fun watching Chris Evans ala Steve Rogers play with his newfound strengths and quickly become more confident in them. Which leads me to...

A run-down on where the film is lacking:

AN INTERESTING SUPERHERO: As I said, Steve Rogers is a great character, and Chris Evans played him almost to perfection. But once he becomes Captain America and masters his powers, there's very little else about him that is interesting. This is not a fault of Evans or even the movie, just a fact about the character. There is nothing dark or complex about Captain America. He's a goody-goody American hero. He fights the forces of Evil and stands for what is Right and Just. He's never tempted by the dark side. He's not an orphan. He has no kryptonite. He's just a big, strong dude. I definitely thought the last third of the film suffered because of this. Once we got to the straight-forward Captain America against Evil action plot, it became less interesting.

CONFUSINGLY VAGUE SUPERPOWERS: Maybe this is just because I'm not familiar with the source material, but what exactly are Captain America's powers? He got bigger and stronger, and...? What else? Not much that I can tell. He has a mysteriously and unexplainably magic shield of some kind...? And somehow instantly knows how to throw a knife with precise aim into an enemy's back, how to drive a motorcycle like Evel Kneivel, and has the combat training to lead large amounts of troops into battle...? I kind of felt like he was plugged into the Matrix and got all of this information downloaded into his brain during his transformation. I'm not really sure... Again, more of a fault with the source material on this one.

LACK OF CONTINUITY WITH THE OTHER AVENGERS FILMS: Okay, this kind of drove me crazy. If you're going to market this film as "the first avenger" film, at least have it be consistent with the rest of the films that already exist in this universe. This film took place in the 1940s, and yet they were already developing flying cars and the Nazis had high-tech submarines and planes that don't even exist now? Where is all of that technology in Iron Man or Thor or Hulk? Those films all seemed completely grounded in the reality of today (apart from the specific "thing" each movie was about, like the arc reactor or the gamma radiation or what have you). Yet this film conjured up a half-real, half-fantastical setting that doesn't exist in the other films in the franchise. Furthermore, it is revealed that Captain America and Howard Stark (Iron Man's father) were close colleagues and friends during the war, and that Captain America's exploits inspired a generation of children to run around with garbage can lids painted like his shield -- yet he's never even alluded to in any of the other films? Where did his legacy go? Did people completely forget he existed? This is a relatively minor thing, but if you're going to market all of these movies as taking place in the same universe, at least be consistent.

THE ENDING: Obviously don't read this section, if you don't want to know, but......... Seriously? That was it? He was "asleep" for 70 years?? That felt like a huge cop-out to me and a too-easy way to tie Captain America into the Avengers franchise. There was literally zero explanation as to why he spontaneously decided to lapse into a decades-long magical coma. And if Howard Stark could find that tiny cube at the bottom of the ocean, why could they not find the smoldering wreckage of the giant freaking plane that Captain America crashed in? That felt really contrived and kind of pissed me off. It made me feel like everything I had just watched was merely a millions-of-dollars feature-length trailer for THE AVENGERS. As if I (or anyone else on the planet) am not going to see it. I'm already sold. Stop shoving it down my throat. There was seriously a title card after the credits that said "CAPTAIN AMERICA will return in THE AVENGERS." Yes. Thank you. We get it.

...End of rant.

There are other things about this film I didn't have time to touch on, such as the superb supporting performances by Hugo Weaving, Stanley Tucci, Tommy Lee Jones, Toby Jones and Dominic Cooper, and the creepy visual effects of Chris Evans' life-sized head on the body of a man who weighs 90 pounds. But rest assured that if you like comic book movies, this is a good one to see. While not as good as the outstanding X-MEN: FIRST CLASS, it definitely comes in above THOR and GREEN LANTERN for me. It's worth seeing, especially if you want to see THE AVENGERS. Have you heard of that? Yeah, it's this little movie coming out next year with Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, the Hulk, Hawkeye, and Black Widow. Crazy, right?

All right, I swear I'm done ranting about The Avengers now. No really. Can you tell it bothers me a little? Not that I haven't enjoyed most of the individual movies -- I just think they're pushing this cross-marketing a little bit too hard. I wish they would let these films stand on their own merits rather than playing them off as advertisements for another movie. Because Steve Rogers is strong enough to stand on his own two feet.

And Then There Were None: A Review of HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS - PART 2

Expected grade: 9/10

Actual grade: 10/10

(For a full explanation of my grading system, check out this post.)

Wow. It's over. For weeks, the omnipresent trailers and posters have warned us: It All Ends -- and it finally did. And boy, what an ending it was. By far the strongest film in the series, it contains the best acting, the best directing, the best cinematography, the best visual effects, and the best adaptation. I cannot imagine a true fan of either the books or the movies leaving this film disappointed. It is a faithful, emotional roller coaster ride of thrills, and in the end, one of the most completely satisfying experiences I've taken part of in a movie theater.

I got in line with my friends outside the 34th St AMC at 8pm, a full four hours before the movie, dressed in my Hogwarts t-shirt. The energy and enthusiasm of everyone in line was palpable and contagious. It is this communal experience of sharing something we all love and care about so deeply that I will miss most about these films, and is also part of the reason the film was as satisfying as it was. But apart from that, it's just a damn good movie. I expected it to be incredible, and it exceeded even my enormously high expectations.

It is hard to say much without sounding repetitive after all the glowing reviews extolling the growth of the young actors and the maturation of the franchise as a whole. So I will simply say that those reviewers are correct. Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint have grown into fine young actors. Perhaps the most satisfying experience of the franchise is watching their development over the years, and Deathly Hallows Part 2 puts the perfect cap on that growth. Radcliffe in particular carries the entire film on his now-broad shoulders, which is no small feat when up next to the likes of Ralph Fiennes, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Helena Bonham Carter and Michael Gambon. But his charisma shines through the grit and grime of this entry, particularly in the scene where he learns a secret Dumbledore has been keeping from him and recognizes that his fate is already written.

But he's not he only one who has grown -- Matthew Lewis as the once-bumbling, now-heroic Neville Longbottom nearly steals the show with his unexpectedly heroic turn. One speech in particular that Neville delivers had most of my audience in tears. It is shocking to recognize that these actors are no longer children (or even teens) -- they are now fully adults, just like their characters. It would be nearly impossible for all these young actors to have spent a full decade of their lives alongside some of the best actors in England and not have become great actors themselves.

I cannot imagine 7P1 and 7P2 having been made as one film -- the expansion gave the adaptation room to breathe, a choice which now pays off a hundred fold. What many people, critics and fans alike, scoffed at as a ploy to simply rake in more money is now revealed to have been an exceptionally well-thought-out decision. For all its success, the Harry Potter series has never been famous for its faithfulness, with many die hard fans bemoaning the complete excision of some of their favorite moments. And while a little bit of this is still true (some people may miss things like house elves running into battle or elaboration on Dumbledore's back story), this is the most faithful entry by far. There is not a single large occurrence from the book that is completely missing, with only a few tweaks here and there for the purposes of translation from page to screen. Many fans derided the fifth movie for its decimation of Snape's Worst Memory, turning a pivotal chapter into a thirty second flashback. Those fans can rest assured that this entry's equally pivotal Snape flashback is given a much fuller treatment, allowing Alan Rickman plenty of room to shine in his final moments as the increasingly complex Snape.

Rickman is not the only veteran actor who receives a shining moment. This is by far Maggie Smith's best turn as McGonagall, who had my whole audience cheering wildly at several moments, most notably her defiant duel with Snape and her gleeful delivery of one of the best lines invented for the film. Helena Bonham Carter is still delightfully demented as Bellatrix, but also delivers a hysterical double-performance early on as Bellatrix ala Emma Watson, when Hermione disguises herself as the evil witch to gain entrance to Gringotts. Michael Gambon should finally put all his detractors (who maintain that Richard Harris, the original Dumbledore, was better) to rest with his pitch-perfect turn in his one scene with Harry. The one veteran actor who was underused was Robbie Coltrane as Hagrid. He was barely in the film at all, appearing in just two short scenes. But the film is so jam-packed with everything else that I didn't even notice his absence until the first time he showed up.

By far the most impressive performance by a veteran goes to Ralph Fiennes. Ultimately this film is about a young boy learning to accept his own mortality, while an older, more powerful man struggles desperately to deny and overcome his own. It is a message brought poignantly home in this film, due mainly to the stellar performance crafted by Fiennes as Voldemort. He transcends the typical power-hungry villain, layering in increasing amounts of fear and desperation as he approaches his final confrontation with Harry. These surprisingly human emotions will make Voldemort a villain for the ages.

It bears noting that I saw the film in good old-fashioned 2D. I reasoned that I had seen every Harry Potter entry to date in 2D, so why change it up just for the last chapter? I didn't want to risk a darkened or blurry screen at this point, and I didn't end up feeling like I missed out on anything. The big action set pieces were all perfectly spectacular in only two dimensions: the Gringotts break-in, the battle of Hogwarts, the final duel -- they were all breathtaking, beautiful, and suspenseful. Perhaps one of this film's greatest achievements is its ability to combine typical blockbuster action fare with heartbreaking portrayals of characters we truly love and root for (or against).

It would have been easy for this film to have been disappointing, after a buildup of fourteen years since the first book and ten years since the first movie. It could have succumbed to the final-chapter-sucks syndrome, ala The Matrix, Spider-Man, X-Men, Star Wars, and many others. Instead, it followed the superb examples of Lord Of The Rings and Toy Story and delivered the most layered, rich and satisfying entry for its final outing. The only faults with the film were faults from the book, and therefore the film cannot really be blamed (beloved characters dying with little to no fanfare being my biggest gripe). And in fact, my least favorite part of the book (the overly saccharine epilogue) played much better on screen than it did on the page.

HP7P2 already attained the highest gross from midnight showings of all time with $43.5 million (breezing past Twilight: Eclipse's $30 million). There is no doubt it will be one of the greatest commercial success of cinema history. But what is more surprising is its critical success. Currently at 97% on Rotten Tomatoes, its score surpasses those of every film that won best picture in the past two decades, with the exception of The Hurt Locker and Schindler's List, with which it is tied. I would not be surprised if this film snags a nomination for Best Picture, considering all its achievements. It could easily fill in the "blockbuster" slot previously occupied by Avatar and Inception. That would be a first for the Harry Potter franchise, and a fitting way to go out -- with a bang.

This is a film you must see in theaters. Even if you've never read a single Harry Potter book nor seen a single Harry Potter movie, go to this one. Go just to see the reactions of all the fans in the audience. It is truly magical, and is likely to be a cinematic experience that will never be equalled in our lifetime. If you are a fan, then even better -- you will laugh, cringe, cheer and most likely sob like a little girl. In the end, you will feel like you have just sat through not just a movie, but something more important. You have closed the book on a saga that has tied you to complete strangers for fourteen years through your shared passion for some fictional characters. It is sad, to be sure, but also exhilarating. Thank you, J.K. Rowling for giving us that gift, and thank you to David Yates and the entire filmmaking team for living up to it. This film is exactly what people are talking about when they say "The magic of movies." Don't miss it.

Metal Monsters Making Mayhem: A Review of TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON

Expected grade: 4/10

Actual grade: 6/10

(For a full explanation of my grading system, check out this post.)

I'm not gonna lie -- I went to see TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON expecting to see one thing: giant robots who morph into cars fighting each other and blowing things up. I was certainly not expecting a cinematic masterpiece, and after the mind-numbing stupidity of REVENGE OF THE FALLEN, I was expecting a sub-par film. I was still expecting to enjoy myself in that turn-off-your-brain way, but I was prepared for the worst. However, after REVENGE OF THE FALLEN, this installment is decidedly a step up, excising many of the horrific mistakes made in the second film.

Gone is much of the slapstick comedy (there is still plenty of humor, but the film in general is much darker). Gone is Sam's annoying roommate. Gone are superfluous scenes of Sam's parents (they are funny, but best taken in small doses). Gone are the horrifically offensive, racially stereotyped twin robots. Gone are robots who can inexplicably transform into perfect human bodies. And gone is Megan Fox. Without these distractions, the third film feels more focused and streamlined than the rest (although it strangely has the longest running time of the franchise at 157 minutes).

As with every film in this franchise, DARK OF THE MOON's greatest weakness is its human characters. Michael Bay seems to think that we need human characters to relate to and subsequently wastes a lot of time on them, when all we really come to see (and the reason the brand is famous) are the robots. I could do with far less Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, and the rest of the human gang. Megan Fox has been replaced by British Victoria's Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. I read somewhere that the script was written before Fox was fired, and they just added a few lines early on referencing the fact that she dumped him -- other than that, supposedly they just changed all the character's line headings from "Mikaela" to "Carly." I would believe it. The former underwear model is just as bland and objectified as Fox was. The human characters are so flimsily drawn, I would have preferred to focus on the characters we really care about -- Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Megatron and Sentinel Prime (a new addition to this film, voiced to perfection by Leonard Nimoy).

The bright spot in the human acting department is the guest stars. John Malkovich plays Sam's overbearing new boss with scenery-chewing glee. John Tuturro returns as the zany, conspiracy-mad Agent Simmons. Fans of Firefly will delight to see Alan Tudyk in a campy role as Simmons' flamboyant assistant. Frances McDormand is a grounded center to the film as a no-nonsense government higher-up in charge of the Autobots. And Patrick Dempsey has the largest guest role in the film, which is surprising, considering he wasn't featured in a single trailer. He plays Carly's slimy boss (a refreshing change of pace from Dr. McDreamy) who, in a surprising twist about halfway through the film, ends up being much more important to the plot than you might think. The only guest star who fell flat was Ken Jeong as a paranoid employee at Sam's company. His appearance was brief and felt entirely out of place.

The biggest thing DARK OF THE MOON has going for it is its willingness to go darker than the previous films. It is a decidedly less kid-friendly plot, on an epic scale unprecedented in the franchise. There are several brutal assassinations of humans, the entire city of Chicago is essentially razed to the ground by an army of Decepticons, and we witness screaming, fleeing Chicagoans being blasted into ash.

The film climaxes with one of the longest, most exhilarating, and well-executed action sequences in recent memory. If Michael Bay is good at anything, it's filming action. And he has learned from his mistakes in REVENGE OF THE FALLEN and cut back on the rapid cutting, meaning it's actually possible to follow what's happening -- a welcome relief. The sequence feels as though Bay took all his big ideas, said "We're doing them all!" and threw them together into an orgy of battles, explosions, metal and mayhem. Two moments stand out: a confrontation between a skyscraper and a giant, boa constrictor-like Decepticon that results in a vertiginous, floor-tilting scramble for safety; and the skydiving entrance of American soldiers filmed, not in CGI, but by real skydivers with cameras attached to their helmets, resulting in a dizzying flight between buildings, which is made even more spectacular in 3D.

A note on the 3D: this is the first film I've actually shelled out cash to see in the extra dimension since the disappointing Thor. One of the major problems people tend to have with 3D is that the lenses filter out light, rendering the screen darker and harder to see. I read a report that Bay demanded theaters turn up the brightness on their projectors to combat this. I'm happy to report that it worked. There were zero vision problems (also helped by the longer cuts Bay used), and the 3D made the giant robots pop in all their glory. If you're going to pay to see any movie in 3D this summer, it should be TRANSFORMERS.

To summarize, go see this movie if you love action -- it is the epitome of a summer popcorn flick. If you are a fan of the Transformers franchise, you are guaranteed to have a good time, as it is a vast improvement over the second film and quite possibly even better than the first. On the standard of movies as a whole, it is decidedly average (5/10), but in the world of big-budget blockbusters, it is entertaining and has some of the best action of late (7/10), so I gave the film an averaged grade of 6/10. If you go expecting mayhem and metal monsters, you won't be disappointed. On those points, DARK OF THE MOON scores full marks.