2012-2013 Pilots Preview

Sad that the final premieres of the 2011-2012 TV season have come and gone?  Well here's a little something to tide you over: the complete list of pilots that each network is currently developing for next season.  Not all of these will end up making it to the air, but next season will definitely be made of up some combination of the following projects.  Between last fall and this spring, 42 new network dramas and comedies premiered.  There are 85 shows on the list below, which means that probably less than half of them will actually end up making it to the air.  Is the next mega-hit somewhere in the list below?  Only time will tell.

Check them out below, and then vote for which ones you're most excited for!

(I've also included what I think are more appropriate titles for each show based on their loglines, for your perusing pleasure.)

ABC - Dramas

666 PARK AVE.
Logline: When a young couple accepts an offer to manage one of the most historic apartment buildings in New York City, they unwittingly begin to experience supernatural occurrences, which complicate and endanger the lives of everyone in the building.
a.k.a. - John Locke From LOST Probably Plays The Devil In This One
Cast: Dave Annable, Rachael Taylor, Terry O'Quinn, Vanessa Locke

AMERICANA
Logline: A soap that revolves around a legendary fashion designer and his family and business.
a.k.a. - Claire Littleton From LOST Probably Plays A Cute Young Blonde Woman In This One
Cast: Annabeth Gish, Anthony LaPaglia, Ashley Greene, Emilie De Ravin, Ken Olin

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
Logline: A fantastical reimagining of the classic fairy tale set in a mythical, dangerous world wherein a beautiful and tough princess discovers an unlikely connection with a mysterious beast.
a.k.a. - Fairy Tale Mania Contiunes!
Cast: Alan Dale, Chris Egan, Darius Campbell, F. Murray Abraham

DEVIOUS MAIDS
Logline: Based on the Mexican format, this soap follows four maids with ambition and dreams of their own while they work for the rich and famous in Beverly Hills.
a.k.a. - DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES Redux
Cast: Ana Ortiz, Grant Show, Susan Lucci, Tom Irwin

GILDED LILYS
Logline: Vicious family rivalries, scandalous secrets, and the conflict and co-mingling of classes take center stage amidst the opening of NYC's first luxury hotel in 1895.
a.k.a. - 19th Century GOSSIP GIRL
Cast: Blythe Danner, John Barrowman, Madeline Zima, Matt Long, Matt Lauria, Sarah Bolger

GOTHAM
Logline: After pursuing a seemingly unsolvable case, a female cop discovers a magical world that exists within New York City.  A world that goes unseen by normal humans, and takes all of the familiar NYC landmarks and reinvents them in a magical otherworldly manner.
a.k.a. - The Show That Will Disappoint Thousands Of Fanboys Worldwide When They Discover That It's Not Actually About Batman.
Cast: Brian Cox, Carry Sloane, Lennie James, Megan Ketch

LAST RESORT
Logline: An international action-thriller-soap that follows the story of establishing a new society in a world held hostage by the crew of a ballistic missile submarine.  Basically, a U.S. nuclear sub crew refuses orders to fire their missiles and escapes to a NATO outpost and declares themselves the smallest nuclear nation.
a.k.a. - The High-Concept Show That Sounds Awesome And Will Probably Fall Flat On Its Face: Thanks For Paving The Way, FLASHFORWARD and THE EVENT!
Cast: Andre Braugher, Scott Speedman, Autumn Reeser

NASHVILLE
Logline: The Nashville music scene provides the setting for this family soap with one star at her peak and one on the rise.
a.k.a. - Totally Not Based On The Robert Altman Movie (But We Totally Want You To Think It Is)
Cast: Connie Britton, Eric Close, Hayden Panettiere, Jonathan Jackson, Powers Boothe

PENOZA
Logline: Based on the Dutch format, PENOZA centers on the widow of an assassinated criminal who is forced to adopt her husband's role in an organized-crime syndicate in order to protect her family.
a.k.a. - This Show Will Get A New Name Before It Premieres
Cast: Erin Moriarty, Mido Hamada

SCRUPLES
Logline: Based on the 1978 novel that follows the life of Wilhelmina Hunnewell Winthrop, a.k.a. Billy, a previously plump woman who loses weight, becomes fabulously cool, and survives a very rich (and very old) first husband.  She ends up opening up a Beverly Hills clothing boutique called Scruples.
a.k.a. - ...What?
Cast: Boris Kodjoe, Chad Michael Murray, Claire Forlani, Gary Cole

UNTITLED ROLAND EMMERICH/HAROLD KLOSER PROJECT
Logline: Set in New York City against the backdrop of the presidential race, a young astrophysics student finds out that his destiny lies not in science but somewhere between hell and heaven.
a.k.a. - New York City Will Explode Seven Times In The First Hour Alone
Cast: Linus Roache, Martin Landau, Gabriella Wilde

ZERO HOUR
Logline: A bizarre twist of fate pulls a man who's spent 20 years as the editor of a skeptics magazine into one of the most compelling conspiracies in human history.
a.k.a. - We're Not Actually Going To Tell You What This Show's About
Cast: Anthony Edwards, Michael Nyqvist

ABC - Comedies

AMERICAN JUDY
Logline: A cosmopolitan woman gets married and becomes a fish out of water in the suburbs, having to juggle step-kids, her mother-in-law, and the ex-wife of her husband, who also happens to be the town sheriff.
a.k.a. - Not To Be Confused With French Judy.
Cast: Judy Greer, Ken Marino

COUNTER CULTURE
Logline: Three aging sisters who run their family diner together in West Texas find that sibling dynamics are always getting in the way of getting the job done.
a.k.a. - We Love Puns
Cast: Delta Burke, Doris Roberts, Ken Howard, Margo Martindale

DUSTY GOES TO AWESOMETOWN
Logline: A raw, hilarious peek behind the curtain of modern twentysomething relationships.
a.k.a. - We Had To Make Our Title Sound Super Cool Because Our Show Is Actually Super Boring
Cast: Ben Rappaport, Dennis Miller, Amanda Crew

HOW TO LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
Logline: Polly, a recently divorced single mom, moves in with her eccentric parents, Elaine and Max, a couple who are full of life but know no boundaries.
a.k.a. - Your Worst Nightmare
Cast: Brad Garrett, Elizabeth Perkins, Orlando Jones, Rachel Eggleston, Sarah Chalke

MALIBU COUNTRY
Logline: After her good ol' boy rock star husband cheats on her and burns through most of their money, Reba divorces him and moves her three sons and mom from Nashville to the only asset they have left - a little house in Malibu.
a.k.a. - White People Problems
cast: Reba McEntire, Sara Rue, Jai Rodriguez, Lily Tomlin

ONLY FOOLS & HEROES
Logline: This classic comedy - a reboot of the British series - chronicles the misadventures of two streetwise brothers and their aging grandfather as they concoct outrageous, morally questionable get-rich-quick schemes in their quest to become millionaires.
a.k.a. - Doc Brown Steal Your Money, Then Go Back In Time And Steal It Again
Cast: Christopher Lloyd, Dustin Ybarra, John Leguizamo, Wendi McClendon-Covey

PRAIRIE DOGS
Logline: Neil, an uncool cubicle worker, or prairie dog, at one of the coolest companies in the world, is victim to identity theft.  When he discovers the thief has created a much more fulfilling, kick ass life with his identity, he engages the charismatic conman to help him reinvent himself.
a.k.a. - The True Story Of How Cary Elwes Tried To Revive His Dying Career By Reinventing Himself As A Comedy Star
Cast: Cary Elwes, Dan Fogler, Kal Penn

RED VAN MAN
Logline: Based on the British format, the show centers on a man who is forced to put his dreams on hold in order to take over the family handyman business from his father.
a.k.a. - Okay Seriously, What's Up With All These Foreign Formats? What Does "Based On The British Format" Even Mean? They Have A "Format"?? What's The "American Format"? (working title)
Cast: J.K. Simmons, Kyle Bornheimer, Leah Remini

THE SMART ONE
Logline: Portia de Rossi stars as a brilliant and successful woman who begrudgingly goes to work for her less-brainy but more popular sister - a former beauty queen, weather girl and now big-city mayor.
a.k.a. - Richard From LOST Finds A New Job Since RINGER Is A Sinking Ship
Cast: David Arquette, Jean Smart, Malin Akerman, Portia De Rossi, Nestor Carbonell

UNTITLED DAN FOGELMAN PROJECT
Logline: A family moves into a highly desirable gated community in New Jersey only to discover that the entire neighborhood is made up of aliens disguised as humans.
a.k.a. - Just Another Normal Day In The Suburbs
Cast: Jamie Gertz, Max Charles

UNTITLED KARL LIZER PROJECT
Logline: The half-hour multi-camera project concerns a high-powered female executive, who has dominated corporate America for years, now faces the biggest challenge of her life: finding herself unemployed and acting as a full-time mom to her two teenagers.
a.k.a. - Being A Mother Obviously The Worst Job Ever
Cast: Mary McCormack, Mo Gaffney, Horatio Sanz

UNTITLED MANDY MOORE PROJECT
Logline: Newlyweds Annie (Mandy Moore) and Ben get the opportunity of a lifetime to run a hip, new restaurant in Annie's hometown, bringing her closer to her needy and high maintenance family.
a.k.a. - MANDY MOORE IS IN THIS ONE, GUYS! YOU SHOULD TOTALLY WATCH IT!
Cast: Mandy Moore, Ravi Patel, Stockard Channing

CBS - Dramas

APPLEBAUM
Logline: Based on Ayelet Waldman's Mommy Track Mysteries, a former public defender becomes a private investigator to keep from being bored to death as a stay-at-home mom.
a.k.a. - Being A Mother Is Obviously The Worst Job Ever - Part II
Cast: Jay Mohr, Rachelle LeFevre

BABY BIG SHOT
Logline: A working-class woman uses her street smarts to compete with her more polished colleagues at a Manhattan law firm.
a.k.a. - THE GOOD WIFE Redux
Cast: Janet Montgomery, Kyle MacLachlan, Pablo Schreiber

ELEMENTARY
Logline: A modern take on the cases of Sherlock Holmes, with Sherlock now living in New York City.
a.k.a. - We're Obviously Grasping At Straws For A Recognizable Brand Name Since This Show Will Bear No Observable Similarity To The Creation Of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: We Also Apparently Want You To Think This Show Is About The Struggles And Triumphs Of A Group Of Precocious Third Graders
Cast: Johnny Lee Miller, Lucy Liu, Aidan Quinn

GOLDEN BOY
Logline: A show about the making of a man.  Tracks one cop's meteoric rise from officer to detective to police commissioner.
a.k.a. - We Just Spoiled The Whole Show For You So You Don't Have To Watch It
Cast: Chi McBride, Kevin Alejandro, Bonnie Somerville

TROOPER
Logline: A common-sense mother turns New York state trooper.
a.k.a. - Yaawwwnnnn.....
Cast: Mira Sorvino

UNTITLED RALPH LAMB PROJECT
Logline: A period piece set in the 1960s centered around the true story of Ralph Lamb: rodeo cowboy turned longtime sheriff of Las Vegas.
a.k.a. - The Macho Show: Cowboys! Rodeos! Vegas! Quaid! Chicklis!
Cast: Dennis Quaid, Michael Chiklis, Jason O'Mara, Carrie-Ann Moss

WIDOW DETECTIVE
Logline: After losing three partners in the line of duty, a decorated police detective becomes surrogate husband, lover, and father to their families.
a.k.a. - Wait, The Main Character's A Dude? Oh, I Guess It Should Be WidowER Detective. My bad.
Cast: John Corbett, Natalie Martinez, Jennifer Beals, Paula Marshall

CBS - Comedies

FRIEND ME
Logline: Twentysomething best friends, Evan and Rob, move from their hometown of Bloomington, Ind., to Los Angeles to begin their exciting new lives working at GroupOn.  Evan is having trouble breaking his old slothful habits and rather than go out after work to explore L.A. and meet new people, prefers to play online poker with his buddies back home.  Rob has different plans and is determined to drag Evan, kicking and screaming, along with him.
a.k.a. - McLovin Comes To Your TV
Cast: Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Nicholas Braun

PARTNERS
Logline: A personal story of two lifelong friends and business partners.  Architects Charlie and Louis' friendship has lasted longer than either of their romantic relationships and almost seems like a weird marriage.  When Charlie decides to propose to his girlfriend, Louis' neurotic attempts to be supportive nearly result in the breakup of his own relationship.
a.k.a. - Superman Comes To Your TV
Cast: David Krumholtz, Michael Urie, Sophia Bush, Brandon Routh

SUPER FUN NIGHT
Logline: A half-hour multi-cam comedy following three nerdy female friends on their "funcomfortable" quest to have SUPER FUN every Friday night.
a.k.a. - Funcomfortable Is The New Adorkable
Cast: Kevin Patterson, Alan Ritchson, Edi Patterson

UNTITLED GREG MALINS/GREG BERLANTI PROJECT
Logline: Nick has a health scare and realizes Wendy, his best friend and business partner of 15 years, is "the one."  Now he has to figure out how to break it to her.
a.k.a. - Three Gregs One Show
Cast: Joanna Garcia Swisher, Greg Grunberg, Matt Cook.

UNTITLED LARRY DORF/BEN FALCONE PROJECT
Logline: Comedy series about a single 37-year-old man (Ben Falcone) who loses everything he has in the real estate collapse and finds himself back home in the house he grew up in...with his parents.
a.k.a. - Haven't We Read This Logline Like Five Times Already?
Cast: Judd Hirsche, Emily Rutherford, Rachael Harris, Ben Falcone

UNTITLED LOUIS CK/SPIKE FERESTEN PROJECT
Logline: Ensemble of young people trying to achieve their creative dreams in these tough financial times.
a.k.a. - Yep, You're Not Crazy. Louis CK Is Now On CBS.
Cast: Ashley Tisdale, Dan Byrd

UNTITLED MARTIN LAWRENCE PROJECT
Logline: Martin Lawrence stars as a widowed father of two teenagers who, after losing his job in construction, decides to go to the police academy and become a cop at the age of 46.
a.k.a. - Even Martin Lawrence's Show Has To Be About Cops Because It's On CBS
Cast: Martin Lawrence, Ethan Suplee, Regina Hall, John Amos

UNTITLED NICK STOLLER PROJECT
Logline: Loosely based on Stoller's real-life experiences, the pilot is a twentysomething ensemble comedy about a guy who gets his heart broken by his girlfriend and now has to work one cubicle away from her at an ad agency.
a.k.a. - As If Cubicles Weren't Already The Most Depressing Things On Earth...
Cast: Randall Park, Brie Larson, Michael Angarano

CW - Dramas

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
Loosely based on the CBS Beauty and the Beast series from the 1980s, this is a modern-day romantic love story with a procedural twist.
a.k.a. - Another One???
Cast: Kristin Kreuk

THE CARRIE DIARIES
Logline: Based on the novel by Candace Bushnell, a young Carrie Bradshaw comes of age in the 1980s, asking her first questions about love, sex, friendship, and family while exploring the worlds of high school and Manhattan.
a.k.a. - SEX AND THE CITY: The Teenage Years
Cast: AnnaSophia Robb

CULT
Logline: After a rash of disappearances and a likely murder, an inquisitive, young female production assistant on a wildly popular television show called Cult joins a journalist-blogger in investigating the rabid fans of the series who might be re-creating crimes seen on the program, in real life.
a.k.a. - The True Story Of Twihards
Cast: Matt Davis

FIRST CUT
Logline: Glad to leave her nerdy past behind for a fresh start in the adult professional world, a newly minted doctor discovers that, sadly and comically, life at the hospital where she works is no different than high school.
a.k.a. - GREY'S ANATOMY Redux
Cast: Mamie Gummer

JOEY DAKOTA
Logline: In this romantic time-travel musical, based on the Israeli format Danny Hollywood, a documentary filmmaker travels back in time to the 1990s where she meets and falls in love with the rock-star subject of her film.  When she unexpectedly returns to the present day, she must find her way back to the past to reunite with her love and prevent his untimely death.
a.k.a. - A Romantic Time-Travel Musical In The Israeli Format! We Swear We're Not Joking!
Cast: Amber Stevens

THE SELECTION
Logline: Based on the forthcoming series of books by Kiera Cass, The Selection is an epic romance set 300 years in the future which centers on a poor young woman who is chosen by lottery to participate in a competition to become the next queen of a war-torn nation at a crossroads.
a.k.a. - We Can't Actually Afford This Show
Cast: Aimee Teegarden

SHELTER
Logline: Drama set at an historic New England summer resort where the new and returning staff attend to the practical, emotional, and often comical needs of the guests while navigating friendships, rivalries, and romances of their own.
a.k.a. - You Would Never Know J.J. Abrams Is Producing This Show
Cast: Hannah New, Eka Darville

FOX - Dramas

THE ASSET
Logline: A character-driven drama set in the CIA's New York City station, focusing on a female agent with a very specialized and controversial area of expertise.
a.k.a. - This Title Is Totally Not Referring To Ali Larter's...assets.
Cast: Ali Larter, Hamish Linklater, Bradley Whitford

GUILTY
Logline: After being falsely convicted of fraud and stripped of his legal license, a brilliant, morally questionable defense attorney uses his unusual methods to solve the cases he's been prohibited from handling and ultimately to exact revenge on the man who set him up.
a.k.a. - We're Cashing In On America's Love For "Morally Questionable" Protagonists. Thank You, Jon Hamm And Bryan Cranston.
Cast: Cuba Gooding Jr, Jay Harrington, Julian Morris

UNTITLED JOSH BERMAN PROJECT
Logline: A young female thoracic surgeon with Bridgeport roots is split between two worlds as she juggles her career and her lifelong debt to the South Chicago mob.
a.k.a. - We Know You'll Watch Anything That Zeljko Ivanek Is In
Cast: Jordan Spiro, William Forsythe, Zach Gilford, Zeljko Ivanek

UNTITLED KARYN USHER PROJECT
Logline: The orphaned 17-year-old daughter of a CIA operative encounters a mysterious rogue agent-assassin, who serves as both her surrogate father and professional mentor in the spy world.
a.k.a. - Totally Not An Adaptation Of LEON: THE PROFESSIONAL
Cast: Julian McMahon, Angela Bassett, Rick Schroder

UNTITLED KEVIN WILLIAMSON PROJECT
Logline: an edge-of-your-seat thriller about the complex relationship between a diabolical serial killer and the damaged FBI agent who took him down.  After the killer escaped, the agent is reactivated and discovers that he is no longer just hunting one man, but a massive cult of serial killers created and manipulated during his time in prison.  Kevin Bacon is near a deal to star as the agent.
a.k.a. - Kevin Bacon Kicks Ass And Takes Name For One Hour A Week
Cast: Kevin Bacon, James Purefoy, Natalie Zea

FOX - Comedies

BEN FOX IS MY MANNY
Logline: Under the guise of being his niece's manny, a free spirited young guy moves in with his type "A" tightly wound sister and in the process will help her reenter the world.
a.k.a. - MRS. DOUBTFIRE: No Drag This Time
Cast: Dakota Johnson, Lucy Punch

EL JEFE
Logline: Tossed out of his Brentwood home, an affable but lost 30-year-old guy moves in with his longtime Latin American nanny, goes head-to-head with her strong-willed son, and finds himself in a family and work life very different from the one he grew up in.
a.k.a. - Next Year's Requisite Clash-Of-Cultures Comedy
Cast: Mercedes Ruehl, Ana Nogueira, Will Greenberg

THE GOODWIN GAMES
Logline: High-concept family comedy about a father who leaves his fortune to his three children only if they agree to his terms.
a.k.a. - I Really Really Want To Know What Those Terms Are
Cast: Scott Foley, Becki Newton

LET IT GO
Logline: An ensemble comedy told through the perspective of a young father who is strongly committed in his beliefs and will go to any length to prove his point.
a.k.a. - At Least The Father's Not Being Played By Tim Allen
Cast: Zachary Levi, Kat Foster

LIKE FATHER
Logline: Comedy centering on a father-son relationship.
a.k.a. - The Least Descriptive Logline Ever.
Cast: Colin Ferguson, Kevin Michael Martin, Annie Q

LITTLE BROTHER
Logline: A boisterous ex-con moves in with his level-headed brother and the brother's family.
a.k.a. - John Stamos Is Still Prettier Than You
Cast: John Stamos, T.J. Miller, Rosa Salazar

LIVING LOADED
Logline: A hard-partying blogger is forced to reevaluate his laissez-faire career plan when he gets a new job as a host on public radio.
a.k.a. - The Story Of My Life
Cast: Larry Wilmore, Donald Sutherland, Mike Vogel

PRODIGY BULLY
Logline: A rare child prodigy with an attitude shakes up his Hogwarts-like academy, while bringing the rarified world of his school back home to his aggressive working class family in Lowell, Mass.
a.k.a. - What If Draco Was The Hero?
Cast: Mike O'Malley, Missi Pyle, Don Lake

REBOUNDING
Logline: An uplifting comedy about a man recovering from the death of his fiance with the help of the idiots on his pickup basketball team.
a.k.a. - The Most Depressing Comedy Ever
Logline: Will Forte, Andrea Savage, Hayes MacArthur

UNTITLED MINDY KALING PROJECT
Logline: A young Bridget Jones-type doctor tries to navigate both her personal and professional lives.
a.k.a. - This Working Title With Mindy Kaling's Name In It Would Attract More Viewers Than Whatever We End Up Changing It To
Cast: Mindy Kaling, Chris Messina, Ed Weeks

NBC - Dramas

BAD GIRLS
Logline: From the producers of SHAMELESS, and adapted from the long-running U.K. hit series of the same name, BAD GIRLS follows the ins and outs of a group of unlikely women in a federal prison: a scandalous female warden, her new protégé and a host of inmates - some mothers, some friends - who struggle with loyalties to people on the inside and the outside.
a.k.a. - Not To Be Confused With NEW GIRL. Or 2 BROKE GIRLS. Or Even Just GIRLS.
Cast: Amy Smart, Tracee Ellis Ross, Jamie Pressly

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE
Logline: An imaginative and thematically rich "what if" drama set 10 minutes in the future where families of mechanical human beings exist to service the human population - that is, until some of the mechanicals begin to "awaken."
a.k.a. - I, ROBOT Redux
Cast: Francis Conroy, James Murray, Tovah Feldshuh

CHICAGO FIRE
Logline: From the writing team of 3:10 To Yuma comes this action-driven drama exploring the complex and heroic men and women of the Windy City's Fire Department.
a.k.a. - Not About The "Great" One In 1871
Cast: Kelly Severide, Peter Mills

COUNTY
Logline: Emmy-winning creator Jason Katims takes us into the lives of a group of young doctors, nurses, and administrators in a frenetic underfunded and morally compromising L.A. County Hospital.
a.k.a. - ER Moves To LA
Cast: jason Ritter, Michael Imperioli

DO NO HARM
Logline: A brilliant neurosurgeon wrestles with his dangerous alter ego that threatens to wreak havoc on his personal and professional life.
a.k.a. - Jekyll & Hyde: The Gritty Reboot
Cast: Steven Pasquale, Phylicia Rashad

THE FRONTIER - aka This show won't make it past one season when they run out of story.
Logline: In an intense tale of survival, a group of disparate travelers embark on an incredible cross-country adventure through the West, where danger stalks them at every turn.
a.k.a. - This Show Won't Make It Past One Season When They Run Out Of Story
Cast: Ethan Embry, Bridget Regan

HANNIBAL
Logline: A one-hour contemporary thriller series features the classic characters from Thomas Harris' novel Red Dragon - FBI agent Will Graham and his mentor Dr. Hannibal Lecter - who are re-introduced at the beginning of their budding relationship.
a.k.a. - The Creator Of The Candy-Colored PUSHING DAISIES Decides To Tackle Cannibalism.
Cast: Hugh Dancy

INFAMOUS
Logline: An opulent soap in which a female detective returns undercover to the wealthy family she grew up in - as the maid's daughter - to solve the murder of the notorious heiress who was once her closest friend.
a.k.a. - REVENGE Redux
Cast: Victor Garber, Tate Donovan, Meagan Good

MIDNIGHT SUN
Logline: This thriller follows the mysterious disappearance of a group living on a comune in Alaska.  Based on an acclaimed Israeli format, a female FBI cult specialist starts an investigation that uncovers a larger conspiracy.
a.k.a. - This Will Probably End Up Being About Aliens
Cast: Julia Stiles, Titus Welliver

UNTITLED J.J. ABRAMS/ERIC KRIPKE PROJECT
Logline: In this epic adventure thriller, a family struggles to reunite in a post-apocalyptic American landscape: a world of empty cities, local militias and heroic freedom fighters, where every single piece of technology - computers, planes, cars, phones, even lights - has mysteriously black out...forever.
a.k.a. - This Will Probably End Up Being My Most-Anticipated Show Of The Entire Year.
Cast: Giancarlo Esposito, Andrea Roth

NBC - Comedies

1600 PENN
Logline: A family show set in the White House where all the kids are less than perfect.
a.k.a. - This Is Clearly Not About The Obamas 'Cause Those Kids Are Freakin' Angels
Cast: Jenna Elfman, Bill Pullman, Josh Gad

ANIMAL KINGDOM
Logline: A single-camera office comedy centered on a HOUSE-like veterinarian, who lives animals but usually hates their owners.
a.k.a. - We're Not Even Trying To Avoid The Inevitable Comparisons With HOUSE To The Point Of  Making Them Ourselves: Keeping It Classy
Cast: Justin Kirk, Tyler Labine

DOWNWARDLY MOBILE
Logline: This multi-cam comedy brings Roseanne Barr back to series television as the proprietor of a mobile-home park and surrogate mother to all of the unique people who live there in a challenging economy.
a.k.a. - The Story Of Roseanne's Career
Cast: Roseanne Barr, John Goodman

FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER
Logline: Based on the U.K. format, this single-camera comedy about a quirky family that has supper together every Friday night is adapted by Emmy-winning creator Greg Daniels.
a.k.a. - Allison Janney Rocks Your World For Thirty Minutes
Cast: Tony Shalhoub, Allison Janney, Kevin Bigley

GO ON
Logline: While an irreverent yet charming sportscaster tries to move on from loss, he reluctantly finds surprising solace form the members of his mandatory group-therapy sessions.
a.k.a. - Matthew Perry Tries Yet Again
Cast: Matthew Perry, Julie White

GUYS WITH KIDS
Logline: Three thirtysomething guys enjoy the adventures of parenting despite the fact they haven't grown up themselves.
a.k.a. - Just What You Wanted! More Man-Children On TV!
Cast: Jesse Bradford, Jamie Lynn Sigler, Tempestt Bledsoe, Sara Rue

HAPPY VALLEY
Logline: After being dumped by her fiance, a shy, focused woman leans on her co-workers to help her come out of her shell and plot her revenge.
a.k.a. - REVENGE...Relationship-style!
Cast: Mena Suvari, Freedie Prinze, Jr.

ISABEL
Logline: A comedy centering on an otherwise normal middle-class family that wrestles with the challenges of everyday life while raising a daughter who has magical qualities.
a.k.a. - Raising Hermione
Cast: Marcia Gay Harden, Kevin Nealon, Sophia Mitri Schloss

THE NEW NORMAL
Logline: A heartwarming comedy about a blended family of a gay couple and the woman who becomes a surrogate to help them have children.
a.k.a. - MODERN FAMILY Without Two-Thirds Of What Makes It Appealing
Cast: Justin Bartha, Bebe Wood, Ellen Barkin, Jayson Blair

NEXT CALLER
Logline: A single-camera gender comedy focusing on a brash alpha-male DJ and his new, plucky, feminist cohost, set in the offices of a satellite radio station.
a.k.a. - Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus Part MMMDCCXVIII
Cast: Dane Cook, Jeffrey Tambor

NIC AND JEN
Logline: What happens between two lifelong female friends when a husband comes into the mix.
a.k.a. - I Thought This Show Was Called BEST FRIENDS FOREVER
Cast: Minni Driver, Andrea Anders, Rachel Dratch, Josh Hopkins

SAVE ME
Logline: A woman, who lets herself go while in a broken marriage, goes through a transformation where she becomes the best version of herself and creates miracles along the way.
a.k.a. - Save Me From Another Boring Sitcom
Cast: Anne Heche, Michael Landes, Alexandra Breckenridge

SUSAN 313
Logline: A single-camera comedy in which series star Sarah Silverman returns to her old life after a breakup, ready to pick up where she left off, and finds it's not as easy as she thought because those around her have moved on.
a.k.a. - We Hope This Is Better Than Whitney!
Cast: Sarah Silverman, Ken Leung

TABLE FOR 3
Logline: A young woman returns home form overseas to find that her father is seriously dating the "mean girl" from her high school.
a.k.a. - I Hope This Stars Regina George
Cast: Scott Bakula, Brenda Song

Which Dramas do you hope make it to the air?

Which Comedies do you hope make it to the air?

PilotWatch 2012 Midseason Wrap-Up

That's a wrap!  Sunday's premiere of VEEP on HBO was the last premiere of the spring and brings to a close all the new shows of the 2011-2012 TV season.  We've seen lots of highs and lots of lows throughout the year, but it's time to see exactly what you all thought of the shows and how they've been faring in the ratings.  So without further ado...here's a look at the 12 new dramas and 14 new comedies that 2012 threw our way:

STATS
I've included Nielson ratings (share of age group 18-49/total viewers) of the most recent episode, the rating that you, Fellow Addicts, voted on for each show, and the renewal chances from TVLine (the most accurate predictor of such things, in my experience).
ABC
• DON'T TRUST THE B---- IN APT 23 - 2.6/6.4mil - 42% Addictive - Too early to tell
• G.C.B. - 1.5/4.4mil - 47% Solid - Could go either way
• MISSING - 1.4/7.2mil - 46% Okay - Too early to tell
• THE RIVER - 1.4/4.0mil - 53% Solid - A long-shot
• SCANDAL - 2.0/7.2mil - 30% Atrocious - Too early to tell
• WORK IT - 30% Atrocious - OFFICIALLY CANCELED

CBS
• NYC 22 - 1.4/7.4mil - 50% Okay - Too early to tell
• ROB - 2.6/9.0mil - 27% Atrocious - Could go either way

FOX
• ALCATRAZ - 1.6/4.8mil - 50% Solid - A long-shot
• THE FINDER - 1.2/4.3mil - 37% Okay - A long-shot
• NAPOLEON DYNAMITE - 2.0/4.0mil - 57% Okay - A long-shot
• TOUCH - 2.1/7.3mil - 50% Addictive - Too early to tell

NBC
• ARE YOU THERE, CHELSEA? - 1.2/3.1mil - 30% Atrocious - A long-shot
• AWAKE - 0.9/2.8mil - 60% Addictive - A long-shot
• BENT - 0.7/2.0mil - 60% Solid - A long-shot
• BEST FRIENDS FOREVER - 0.8/2.8mil - 50% Addictive - A long-shot
• THE FIRM - 0.3/1.7mil - 61% Solid - A long-shot
• SMASH - 2.0/6.0mil - 54% Addictive - OFFICIALLY RENEWED

OTHER
• ANGRY BOYS (HBO) - season complete - 41% Solid
• GIRLS (HBO) - 0.9mil - 42% Atrocious
• HOUSE OF LIES (SHO) - season complete - 40% Okay
• I JUST WANT MY PANTS BACK (MTV) - season complete - 42% Atrocious
• LIFE'S TOO SHORT (HBO) - season complete - 40% Okay
• LUCK (HBO) - 44% Okay - OFFICIALLY CANCELED
• UNSUPERVISED (FX) - season complete - 55% Solid
• VEEP (HBO) - 0.6/1.4mil - 44% Solid


RANKINGS
The Highest-Rated New Dramas: based on share of 18-49 age group
1) TOUCH (2.1)
2) SCANDAL (2.0/7.2mil)
3) SMASH (2.0/6.0mil)
4) ALCATRAZ (1.6)
5) G.C.B. (1.5)

The Highest-Rated New Comedies:
1) ROB (2.6/9.0mil)
2) DON'T TRUST THE B---- IN APT 23 (2.6/6.4mil)
3) NAPOLEON DYNAMITE (2.0)
4) ARE YOU THERE, CHELSEA? (1.2)
5) BEST FRIENDS FOREVER (0.8)

Your Favorite Dramas: based on % voted Addictive
1) AWAKE (60)
2) SMASH (54)
3) TOUCH (50)
4) G.C.B. (34)
5) NYC 22 (25)

Your Favorite Comedies:
1) BEST FRIENDS FOREVER (50)
2) DON'T TRUST THE B---- IN APT 23 (42)
3) VEEP (33)
4) ANGRY BOYS (25)
5) BENT (20)

Your Least Favorite Dramas: based on % voted Atrocious
1) SCANDAL (30)
2) THE FINDER (18)
3) LUCK (16)
4) THE FIRM (15)
5) NYC 22 (12)

Your Least Favorite Comedies:
1/2/3) GIRLS / I JUST WANT MY PANTS BACK / NAPOLEON DYNAMITE (42)
4/5/6) ARE YOU THERE, CHELSEA? / HOUSE OF LIES / WORK IT (30)


INTERESTING FACTS
•  By and large, the midseason replacement shows were watched by far fewer people than the fall shows. Last fall's highest-rated drama, ONCE UPON A TIME, had a 3.9 rating, almost a full 2 points ahead of this spring's highest-rated drama, TOUCH (2.1).  Last fall's highest-rated comedy, NEW GIRL, had a 4.3 rating, over 2 full points ahead of this spring's highest-rated comedy, ROB (2.9).

• Both of the shows that have already been canceled (WORK IT and LUCK) landed on your Least Favorite lists.  Congratulations on your good taste.

• The only midseason show to already have garnered a renewal (SMASH) was your second favorite drama of the spring.  Ironically, your favorite, AWAKE is struggling in the ratings and is likely to be canceled.

• CBS' barely advertised new cop drama NYC 22 managed to end up on both your Favorite Drama and Least Favorite Drama lists, at #5 on both.

• For the fall, you voted 64% of the new shows as either Solid or Addictive.  This spring, however, only 50% of the new shows were voted Solid or Addictive, indicative of a generally weaker crop of shows.


MY PICKS FOR BEST/WORST
Best Drama - AWAKE: If you had asked me immediately after the premieres, I probably would have picked SMASH as my favorite new drama.  Unfortunately, that show has never managed to live up to its stellar first episode, delivering a series of increasingly disappointing episodes that have completely lost focus on what the show was originally about.  AWAKE, on the other hand, has continued to deliver tightly-scripted, well-acted, brain-scratching gems.  Jason Isaacs as Michael, a man trapped between two worlds, delivers a tour-de-force performance every week, deftly handling the disorienting shifts inherent in the show's structure.  There are just enough hints of a deeper mythology to keep viewers invested in a long-term story -- unfortunately, it doesn't look like we'll ever get that whole story, as AWAKE is most likely destined to be cancelled at the end of the year.
Runner-up: TOUCH

Best Comedy - DON'T TRUST THE B---- IN APT 23: I'm actually very torn between this acid-tongued comedy and the delightful BEST FRIENDS FOREVER.  I could spend time here lauding the extremely human characters on BFF and its realistic sense of humor, but unfortunately it will probably be cancelled, so I'll focus instead on the show I like just as well but is also more likely to make it to another season.  Krysten Ritter and Dreama Walker are perfect foils as the dark, sadistic Chloe and the bright, bubbly June.  This odd couple pairing, combined with a genius performance by James Van Der Beek as himself, makes for comedy gold.  I can't wait to see more conniving backstabbing between these two delightful frenemies.
Runner-up: BEST FRIENDS FOREVER

Worst Drama - SCANDAL: Nothing about this show rings true.  It is a forced, contrived mess of faux-Aaron Sorkin dialogue (meaning people just talk really fast at each other), plotlines lifted directly from a mid-90's soap opera (The military hero is...gay? *gasp* How shocking!).  Kerry Washington's character Olivia Pope desperately wants to be a strong female role model but only manages to be a one-note caricature whose only flaw is a desperate weakness for philandering men.  Really??  I respect creator Shonda Rimes for attempting to branch away from the medical community, but unfortunately this one fell flat on its face...as demonstrated by its ranking as your Least Favorite Drama of the spring.  Well done, Fellow Addicts.
Runner-up: THE FINDER

Worst Comedy - WORK IT: Do I really have to elaborate?
Runners-up: ARE YOU THERE CHELSEA?, HOUSE OF LIES, I JUST WANT MY PANTS BACK, LIFE'S TOO SHORT, NAPOLEON DYNAMITE, ROB, UNSUPERVISED (Basically, almost all of the midseason replacement comedies were universally terrible.)


Now it's time for you to vote for what you thought were the best new shows of the 2012 Midseason.  And keep an eye peeled throughout the summer for a few more premieres, such as HBO's new Aaron-Sorkin-scripted THE NEWSROOM.  Thanks for reading along this season, Fellow Addicts.  We'll be at it again in September with a whole new crop of premieres!

(In the meantime, check out this post about the pilots in development for next season, and then vote for which ones you're most excited about!)

What was your favorite new drama?

What was your favorite new comedy?

PilotWatch: VEEP

HBO Sundays @ 10:00

What's it about?
Former Senator Selina Meyer has accepted the call to serve as Vice President of the United States.  The job is nothing like she imagined and everything she was warned about.  VEEP follows Meyer and her staff as they attempt to make their mark and leave a lasting legacy, without getting tripped up in the day-to-day political games that define Washington.

You should watch if...
• you enjoy political satire.
• you're a Julia Louis-Dreyfus fan.
• you enjoy HBO's brand of comedies that aren't really funny.

So, how was it?
VEEP very much follows HBO's pattern of sitcoms that are not really laugh-out-loud comedies, but more of fast-paced, quick-witted satire, so well exemplified already this year by both Laura Dern's ENLIGHTENED and Lena Dunham's GIRLS.  Now Julia Louis-Dreyfus joins their ranks in another female-centric not-really-funny comedy about a smart but impotent trying to make herself matter in a political field indifferent to her position.  If you liked either ENLIGHTENED or GIRLS, or are a particularly big Julia Louis-Dreyfus fan, you will likely love VEEP. If you're looking for a knee-slapping laugh riot, you'll probably be disappointed.

That's not to say there aren't fun moments.  But funny would be the wrong word.  I had a blast in the first half hour watching Selina and her incompetent team deal with crisis after crisis.  Ms. Louis-Dreyfus delivers a powerhouse performance full of both ambition and insecurity.  The easiest way to describe VEEP is if Leslie Knope from PARKS AND RECREATION made it all the way to Washington and her show got moved to HBO...bigger scale, higher stakes, more vulgarity, but same over-eagerness and bumbling mistakes.

Ms. Louis-Dreyfus is helped out by an exceptionally strong supporting cast in Selina's team.  There's Anna Chlumsky (yes, the girl from MY GIRL) as Selina's chief-of-staff, the most capable of the bunch but still not immune to making horrifying errors.  Tony Hale (ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT) is Selina's aide, definitely the "Jerry" of the audience (for you P&R fans) -- the one everyone else can't seem to stand who's just trying to be the best at his job.  Matt Walsh (HUNG) plays Selina's director of communications, who is incapable of rectifying her mistakes, often making them worse.  And there's Reid Scott (THE BIG C) as the new guy on the team, who attracts the hatred of everyone else because he's actually good at what he does.  This supporting team is unanimously brilliant in their roles, making Selina's office a horrifyingly (and amusingly) inept and dysfunctional workplace.

But Julia Louis-Dreyfus is the glue that holds this show together.  She is so good at playing both assertive and uncertain, excelling equally when trying to schmooze with senators, when bungling an important speech, and when having a total breakdown in her office.  If anything, this show will be a terrific showcase fo her wonderful comedic talents.  And while I didn't spend the entire half hour guffawing, she and the rest of the cast are likable and just real enough to keep me coming back for more.

Rating:
*** Solid. I'm interested and will definitely keep watching.
I wouldn't say I'm addicted yet, but I think this show holds promise, if only because of Ms. Louis-Dreyfus' tour-de-force performance.  I'm excited to see what other unfortunate situation she and her team will find themselves in next week.

What did you think, Fellow Addicts? Were you amused by Selina's antics? Or were disappointed that it wasn't more laugh-out-loud funny? Vote in the poll below and then hit the comments!

(For the complete rundown of when all the new shows are premiering, check out my 2012 Midseason TV Preview.)

What did you think of VEEP?

PilotWatch: NYC 22

CBS Sundays @ 10pm

What's it about?
NYC 22follows six diverse NYPD rookies as they patrol the gritty streets of upper Manhattan.  With unique backgrounds, personalities and reasons for being on the force, the new cops will make their share of rookie mistakes while they figure out how to relate to their boss, each other and the people they swore to protect.

You should watch if...
• you don't think there are already too many cop shows on TV.
• you enjoy the diverse ensemble cast and relationship drama of GREY'S ANATOMY but are too embarrassed to admit you watch it.
• you don't already have too many shows to watch on a Sunday night, what with GAME OF THRONES, MAD MEN, THE KILLING, THE GOOD WIFE, ONCE UPON A TIME, GIRLS and VEEP (when it premieres next week).

So, how was it?
Honestly, has anyone even heard of this show?  I make it my job to know everything about TV (though I don't get paid for it...yet) and even I forgot this show existed until yesterday.  Did CBS promote it at all?  I do most of my TV watching online, so maybe they advertised it on their channel, but there were definitely no advertisements on any of the many entertainment sites I frequent.  Strange.  Not surprising then, that NYC 22 premiered to an underwhelming-for-CBS 8.9 million viewers.  That may not sound like a low number, but CBS is the highest-rated network and is used to much more.  Then there's also the fact that even with 8.9 million viewers, the rating for the all-important 18-49 age group was a scant 1.5.  There's next to no chance that NYC 22 will survive to see another season.  At least they changed the title.  Originally, the show was to be called simply THE 2-2.  Sounding like a preteen's frilly pink ballet costume probably isn't the best way to draw in viewers for what's supposed to be a gritty cop show.

Given CBS' apparent lack of interest in promoting its own show, I was totally prepared for the pilot to be horrendous.  Color me surprised, then.  Maybe it's just because my expectations were at an all-time low, but I didn't totally hate it.  It's not exactly groundbreaking, but it does the job.  It struck me pretty heavily as GREY'S ANATOMY taking place on the streets of Manhattan.  There's a racially diverse cast of pretty young doctors cops new at their hardcore job, thrown head first into surgeries assignments, struggling with unruly patients citizens, and dealing with the alternately helpful, aloof, or downright rude attitudes of their attendings superiors.

There's Leelee Sobieski (THE GLASS HOUSE) as Jennifer 'White House' Perry, the tough and professional former marine.  There's Judy Marte (a dead ringer for Jennifer Carpenter) as Tonya Sanchez, who's trying to rise above her family's criminal lifestyle.  There's Adam Goldberg (THE UNUSUALS) as Ray 'Lazarus' Harper, the oldest of the bunch, a 41-year-old former crime journalist.  There's Stark Sands (FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS) as Kenny McLaren, the do-gooder pretty white boy.  There's Harold House Moore as Jason 'Jackpot' Toney, the former all-star basketball player returned to the streets of his hometown.  And there's Tom Reed as Ahmad 'Kiterunner' Khan, the Afghani immigrant with a chip on his shoulder.  All six of these actors are serviceable in their roles, making their characters just alive enough to distinguish them from a politically-correct billboard for police recruitment.

The cases these rookie cops tackle on the first day involve rival gangs, tattooed murderers and domestic violence.  Again -- nothing earth-shattering here, but somehow the characters remained likable enough to keep me from rolling my eyes every five seconds.  I suspect that, if CBS had actually given this show a chance, it could have attracted quite a following of people invested in seeing these young people struggle and grow under pressure.  Unfortunately, I suspect the remaining 11 episodes will be burned off into the summer with little to no fanfare, with the show then dying a quiet and unmourned death.  At least CBS doesn't need another hit.

Rating:
** Okay.
Not atrocious, but not enough to keep me coming back, especially on an already crowded Sunday night.  If CBS moved it to a less popular night, like Friday, it would have less competition and would also be able to skate by on lower ratings.  Not sure why CBS is treating this show so abysmally, but maybe it will surprise us all and slowly gather a strong following.  Only time will tell.

What did you think, Fellow Addicts? Did you like the show? Had you even heard of it? Vote in the poll below and then hit the comments!

(For the complete rundown of when all the new shows are premiering, check out my 2012 Midseason TV Preview.)

What did you think of NYC 22?

PilotWatch: GIRLS

HBO Sundays @ 10:30

What's it about?
Created by and starring Lena Dunham (TINY FURNITURE), the show is a comic look at the assorted humiliations and rare triumphs of a group of girls in their early 20s.  Dunham wrote and directed the pilot of the series, which she executive produces along with Judd Apatow.

You should watch if...
• you have ever lived in New York City during your 20s.
• you like extremely understated, often depressing humor.
• you have been waiting for HBO's down-to-earth, realistic answer to their other group-of-four-girlfriends-in-NYC sitcom.

So, how was it?
Though technically considered a "comedy," as it clocks in at thirty minutes instead of an hour, Lena Dunham's GIRLS will not exactly have you rolling in the aisles.  However, if you've ever struggled with money and/or relationships and/or identity during your 20s while living in a big city, you will find yourself occasionally smirking cynically or chuckling in a very knowing way.  Created, written, directed, produced and starred in by Lena Dunham, herself a 25-year-old actress living in NYC, the show is a hyper-smart, frequently depressing, yet totally engrossing experience for someone also in his early 20s living in NYC still struggling to find his own "identity" or "career" or "life" or what-have-you.  In fact, I believe this super-specific-ness is both GIRLS' strong point and its weakness: anyone who has lived it will be hooked; anyone who hasn't will feel excluded or turned off by the overwhelming bleakness and its focus on "white people problems."

It's easy to dismiss the struggles of finding your creative path or dealing with the suffocating affections of a too-perfect boyfriend or even an accidental pregnancy as "white people problems," and it's true that there are much worse things happening in the world at any given moment.  But the truth about "white people problems" is that they still feel like "problems" to the person experiencing them.  It's fascinating, at least in this first half hour, to watch these "girls" (young women, really) who are simultaneously so sure of what they want ("to be the voice of my generation"), yet constantly hedging their bets ("or at least a voice of a generation") and self-sabotaging with their lack of confidence.

These struggles are brought to vivid life by all four of the main young women.  There's Lena Dunham herself as Hannah, the artistically ambitious yet massively insecure protagonist.  Allison Williams is Marnie, Hannah's gorgeous best friend and roommate who can't stand the affections of her worshipful boyfriend.  Then there's Jemima Kirke as Jessa, Hannah and Marnie's British frenemy, returned from her travels abroad full of faux-wisdom and terrible advice.  And finally there's Zosia Mamet (David Mamet's daughter and MAD MEN guest star) as Shoshanna, Jessa's American cousin who speaks in the snappy "abbrevs" and wannabe-wit endemic of her generation.  Mamet as Shoshanna gets a stand-out scene where she effectively highlights in a short monologue exactly what sets GIRLS apart from SEX AND THE CITY (also from HBO) by trying desperately (and failing) to compare her life to Carrie and Co's.

Lena Dunham (and HBO) want you to know that this is NOT the next SEX AND THE CITY.  GIRLS is its own thing; a realistic, smart, funny, sad, wholly entertaining look at the everyday lives of a generation known for its entitlement, struggling to find its feet when that privilege is taken away.  As Hannah's mom scoffs in disbelief: "You're so spoiled!"  And as Hannah herself snaps back, "Whose fault is that?!"

Rating:
*** Solid. I'm interested and will definitely keep watching.
Outwardly, this show may see like nothing more than the inevitable climax of a very female-centric TV season (2 BROKE GIRLS, NEW GIRL, REVENGE, DON'T TRUST THE B---- IN APARTMENT 23, BEST FRIENDS FOREVER).  But its location on cable rather than network lets GIRLS be something more than all of those: honest.  The sex, drugs and profanity in these girls' lives are neither ignored nor overplayed.  They are merely present, as they would be in any 20-somethings life.  Girls have sex, sometimes they dabble in homemade opium tea, and they speak in casual profanity-laden colloquialisms.  Unlike the massive and chic loft that Zooey Deschanel and Co. live their white-washed lives in, Hannah and her friends live in small, somewhat dingy NYC apartments and do things that normal human beings do.  (Nothing against NEW GIRL, it's just a different beast.)  I found the honesty refreshing.  Some people may find it depressing.  To each his own.

Your turn, Fellow Addicts!  Did you catch the premiere of GIRLS? If so, were you drawn in by its big-city characters? Or turned off by its big-city specificity? Did you find it refreshing? Or depressing? Vote in the poll below and then hit the comments!

(For the complete rundown of when all the new shows are premiering, check out my 2012 Midseason TV Preview.)

What did you think of GIRLS?

HBO renews GAME OF THRONES

Praise R'hllor!  Shocking approximately zero people worldwide, HBO has announced that they are renewing their hit fantasy series, GAME OF THRONES for a third season.

While the freshman season of this epic show averaged a very respectable (for cable) 2.5 million viewers, the second season has seen a huge surge in viewership, now averaging 3.9 million.  The Season 2 premiere alone was seen by 7.5 million people.  The first season DVD/BluRay, released on March 6, sold 350,000 sets in its first week, the largest first-week DVD sales of any HBO show.  It seems like everyone was eager to catch up on the events taking place in Westeros in time to join the party for Season 2.

Season 3 of the show will likely cover the first half of Book 3, A STORM OF SWORDS.  The book is so massive (clocking in at over 1,200 pages), the producers have all but guaranteed it will take them two whole seasons to cover the events (also giving author George R.R. Martin more time to finish the last two books of the series).  For us readers, we know that some of the most shocking events of the entire series take place in A STORM OF SWORDS, and will be holding our breath in anticipation.  Despite this announcement being all but a foregone conclusion, it's still a relief to know that this amazing show will live to see another season, as HBO has a somewhat notorious track-record of canceling well-loved but too-expensive shows (CARNIVALE, DEADWOOD).

PilotWatch: DON'T TRUST THE B---- IN APARTMENT 23

ABC Wednesdays @ 9:30
(Officially premiering 4/11)

What's it about?
A wide-eyed Midwestern girl moves to New York City to pursue her dream job only to find herself living with an outlandish girl with the morals of a pirate.  June's well-planned well-organized life takes a drastic turn when she arrives in New York to find that the corporate finance job she moved there for no longer exists.  As she tries to navigate her newly single life in the big city, her Midwestern scruples are constantly put to the test by her wild and sophisticated party-girl roommate Chloe and Chloe's best friend, the actor James Van Der Beek.  The two girls form an unlikely friendship that leads them both to unexpected places and often-illegal experiences.

You should watch if...
• you enjoy 2 BROKE GIRLS or NEW GIRL.
• you're a Krysten Ritter fan.
• you're a Dawson's Creek fan.

So, how was it?
Along with BEST FRIENDS FOREVER, DON'T TRUST THE B---- IN APARTMENT 23 is easily one of my favorite comedies of the entire season.  It's crazy to me that ABC waited so long in the season to unleash Chloe's insanity on the world, but thank god it's finally here.  APT 23 continues this year's trend of female-centric shows -- from Max and Caroline on 2 BROKE GIRLS to Jess on NEW GIRL to Jessica and Lennon on BEST FRIENDS FOREVER, from Emily Thorne on REVENGE to Carrie on HOMELAND to Ivy and Karen on SMASH, women have dominated both comedies and dramas this year.

Of all those shows above, APT 23 is most similar to 2 BROKE GIRLS and NEW GIRL, although its humor is noticeably darker than either of those.  In the course of the pilot, there is theft, nudity, underage drinking, and, most notably, sex on a birthday cake.  Oh, and James Van Der Beek.

Krysten Ritter is comedic gold as Chloe, the unscrupulously nasty NYC girl who cons naive newbies out of the life savings with the help of her straight gay-BFF, James Van Der Beek.  Having The Beek From The Creek playing himself is an inspired bit of casting.  It could easily have been a one-note joke, but Van Der Beek manages to play himself with a surprising amount of both charm and pathos.  It's easy to believe that this could actually be his life post-Dawson's Creek.  His relationship with Chloe is a blast to watch.

Dreama Walker is bright and bubbly as June, the Midwestern newbie Chloe plans to screw over.  It's a testament to her acting abilities that while I absolutely couldn't stand the sight of her when she was on THE GOOD WIFE, I was instantly drawn in by her wide-eyed charm here.  The epitome of a blonde, perky up-and-comer, she is the perfect foil for Ms. Ritter's dark, sarcastic presence.  The two play off each other wonderfully, both in combat and in friendship, and I am excited to watch their relationship grow.

This late in the season, APT 23 may seem like a carbon copy of every other sitcom that premiered this year, but it is, somewhat surprisingly, better than all of them.  That's not to say the others are bad.  I enjoyed the 2 BROKE GIRLS premiere and am still watching NEW GIRL, but there is something about the collision of light and dark on APT 23 that is impossible to look away from.  It's a fascinating dynamic made even more captivating by the boundless enthusiasm of its young stars, Ms. Ritter in particular.

Rating:
**** Certifiably ADDICTive. A must-see.
I know you're probably getting tired of even more new shows at this point, but APT 23 deserves a chance. Its quick-witted, razor-sharp, and surprisingly dark humor instantly earn this show a place of honor among the 2011-2012 roster of sitcoms.

(For the complete rundown of when all the new shows are premiering, check out my 2012 Midseason TV Preview.)

What did you think of DON'T TRUST THE B---- IN APARTMENT 23?

PilotWatch: SCANDAL

ABC Thursdays @ 10

What's it about?
Everyone has a secret...and Olivia Pope has dedicated her life to protecting and defending the public images of the nation's elite and keeping those secrets under wraps.  Revered and feared at the same time, Olivia, a former communications director to the President of the United States, left the White house to open her own prominent crisis management firm.  She is hoping to start a new chapter in her life - both professionally and personally - but she can't seem to completely cut ties with her past.  Slowly it becomes apparent that her dysfunctional staff, who specialize in fixing other people's lives, can't quite fix the ones closest at hand - their own.

You should watch if...
• you're a Shonda Rhimes fanatic, and have watched anything she's created, from GREY'S ANATOMY to PRIVATE PRACTICE to OFF THE MAP.
• you've always wondered who helps the 1% hide their dirty little secrets.
• you like a splash of faux-Aaron Sorkin in your soapy procedural.

So, how was it?
As someone who has watched GREY'S ANATOMY from its inception to the present day, through all the ups and downs, the bombs and the shootings and the Ghost-Dennys (*shudder*), I was hopeful that Shonda Rhimes could make another hit.  PRIVATE PRACTICE never garnered my interest, and I never got past the pilot of the woefully bad OFF THE MAP.  So I was hoping that SCANDAL might be her second true hit.  Sadly, Shonda Rhimes continues to prove herself the M. Night Shyamalan of television (starts with one genuine, critically-acclaimed, runaway hit, then creates a series of increasingly stinky bombs).  SCANDAL is just another step on Ms. Rhimes' path to try to recreate the GREY'S lightning-in-a-bottle phenomenon, and failing spectacularly.

There was a lot to like about the premise of SCANDAL: political intrigue, dirty little secrets, Kerry Washington (who I saw deliver a terrific performance in David Mamet's RACE on Broadway) in a leading role, and everyone's favorite Scottish man (Henry Ian Cusick - or Desmond from LOST) in a supporting role.  Unfortunately, these factors, while sounding good on paper, don't add up to much on screen.

The first thing that will strike any new viewer is the dialogue.  It is Aaron-Sorkin-fast without any of the Aaron-Sorkin-wit.  (For those unfamiliar with the name, Sorkin wrote such television and movie hits as THE WEST WING, SPORTS NIGHT, THE SOCIAL NETWORK and MONEYBALL -- he's particularly famous for his lightning-quick and insanely witty repartee.)  The opening scene is a nauseatingly quick conversation between two people in a bar that clearly wants to recreate the atmosphere of Sorkin-dramas -- but either the writer isn't as good at dialogue as Sorkin, or the actors aren't as adept at handling such verbal dexterity, or, most likely, both.  The scene screams insincerity and the only thing you'll be thinking is "NOBODY TALKS LIKE THAT!"

That artificial pace is kept up through the entire hour, as though the writers think if the characters talk fast, everyone will automatically assume they're smart.  Unfortunately, the speedy dialogue doesn't cover up the fact that the characters are all, at least thus far, one-dimensional caricatures without any distinguishing traits.  I could not tell you the names of any of the people in Olivia's office, but I could tell you that there's the naive new girl, the loud-mouthed and progressive redhead, the quietly nerdy tech guy, the suave Scottish player, and the cynical black dude.  There was zero character development in the supporting character field, so I have no reason to care about what happens to these people.  The only defining characteristic of these characters is that they are incredibly emotionally stunted.  At one point in the premiere, Suave Scottish Man has to call Olivia to give him a pep talk before he proposes to his girlfriend.  Seriously?  He clearly A) has the emotional maturity of a teenager, B) shouldn't be getting married if he needs someone to talk him into it, and C) doesn't have any friends outside of the office if the only person he can think to call at such a time is his BOSS.  Seriously?!

We are introduced to Olivia's office through the eyes of "Naive New Girl" (I'll call her NNG from now on).  This gives Olivia (and the writers) a lame excuse for a ham-handed, exposition-heavy walk-through of her process.  Honestly, I would have much rather just watched her handle her client rather than constantly have scenes of the investigation intercut with scenes of Olivia very deliberately explaining to NNG what she's about to do.  Come on, writers, it's called "SHOW, DON'T TELL."  It's one of the first things any aspiring writer learns!

The plots themselves are lifted directly from a mid-nineties soap opera.  There's a president who's (SPOILER ALERT) secretly a (*gasp!*) disgusting philanderer and a war hero who's (SPOILER ALERT) secretly (*gasp!*) gay.  Maybe these storylines would have felt ground-breaking and shocking a couple of decades ago, but they just felt tired and transparent last night.  If anyone honestly didn't see the revelations about either of those characters coming after several heavy-handed hints, then...I guess this show was written for you.

And then there's Olivia herself.  Shonda Rhimes so clearly and desperately wanted to create another powerful, unapologetic, strong female character to match the likes of Dr. Bailey or Cristina Yang.  Unfortunately, Olivia is so strong that she's just a one-note, flawless robot of a woman.  I kept waiting for signs of vulnerability to make this character human, but sadly, when they came, they were completely due to her feelings for a man.  It's depressing that in this season of great female-centric comedies, this show couldn't come up with a complex leading female character without making her only flaw a weakness for cheating, lying men.

Rating:
* Atrocious. I will never watch this show again. Ever.
I was originally planning on giving this show two stars, but as I wrote my review, I talked myself down to one.  There's really nothing redeeming about this pilot.  The cardboard characters, the tired plots, the groan-inducing dialogue...they're all sub-par.  I have too many shows on my plate already to give this one another chance.  Maybe sometime this summer once most of the shows are off the air and my Hulu queue is empty, maybe I'll watch the second episode.  Maybe.  But probably not.

Your turn, Fellow Addicts! Did SCANDAL hook you in? Or turn you off? Vote in the poll below and then hit the comments!

(For the complete rundown of when all the new shows are premiering, check out my 2012 Midseason TV Preview.)

What did you think of SCANDAL?

PilotWatch: BEST FRIENDS FOREVER

NBC Wednesdays @ 8:30

What's it about?
Jessica St. Clair and Lennon Parham star as Jessica and Lennon, best friends who live on opposite sides of the country with the men in their lives.  When Jessica is overnighted divorce papers, Lennon convinces her to return home to Brooklyn and back into the apartment they used to share.  It doesn't take long for the girls to fall into old habits: movie marathons and late night girl talk sessions - none of which is good news for Lennon's live-in boyfriend, Joe.

You should watch if...
• you're tired of the same old drivel that NBC has been pushing out as "comedies" this year (here's looking at you, WHITNEY and ARE YOU THERE, CHELSEA?) and want something different and refreshing.
• you enjoy stories involving characters who are real people with real relationships.
• you are a twenty- or thirty-something living in Brooklyn (guilty!).

So, how was it?
It seems that the networks have been saving the best for last.  Why this (along with ABC's DON'T TRUST THE B---- IN APARTMENT 23) were pushed so far to the end of the season and premiered with barely any fanfare is beyond me.  They are by far the two best comedy premieres of 2012, as well as my favorites of the whole 2011-2012 TV season alongside NBC's UP ALL NIGHT.  I hope people find the time to check this show out -- it is the real deal, full of genuine emotions, relationships and, of course, hilarity.

When you read the synopsis above, you probably rolled your eyes and marked BEST FRIENDS FOREVER off as just another boring sitcom.  If so, you're doing yourself a disservice.  This is one show that looks much better on air than it does on paper -- it's not a high-concept that draws you in, it's the characters.  Written by real life BFF's Jessica St. Clair and Lennon Parhan, who star as Jessica and Lennon (respectively...duh), the real-life chemistry and history between the stars gives this show something extra special.  These feel like real women who share a very real past.  Unlike most sitcoms, where the characters seem to have popped into existence the moment you meet them on screen, you immediately get the sense that Jessica and Lennon have already been existing in this world for years and years.

The rest of the cast manages to evoke this same sense of history brilliantly as well (despite not being real-life BFFs).  Luka Jones, of the Upright Citizens Brigade, costars as Joe, Lennon's boyfriend, who is initially horrified at the incursion of Jessica into his home.  The relationship between Joe and Jessica, who are existing together in the same space for the first time, is one of the most interesting, and speaks to the writing and acting talents of this ensemble.  In a TV season where every single character had to be increasingly "quirky" in order to stand out from the crowd (a situation brought to a fever-pitched frenzy by the "adorkable" explosion of Zooey Deschanel on NEW GIRL), these people aren't caricatures -- they have the "quirks" that real people have, but they're not over-the-top, and exist to define character rather than create it.  Perhaps the "quirkiest" character on BEST FRIENDS FOREVER is the laugh-out-loud hysterical Daija Owens, who plays Queenetta, Lennon and Joe's nine-and-a-half-year-old loud, sassy "stoop troll" of a neighbor.  (But as someone who actually lives in Brooklyn, I can attest that even this "quirky" character isn't a caricature.)

I suspect many people will be turned off by the low-concept focus on real relationships between real people, wondering when the next over-the-top hijink will ensue.  But I found the first episode of this show to be engaging, refreshing, and utterly captivating.  It was probably the most out-loud-laughing I've done in a half hour all year, and I can't wait to keep watching.

Rating:
**** Certifiably ADDICTive. A must-see.
Please, do yourself a favor and watch this show.  If not for yourself, then for me, because more people need to watch it so it can get renewed for Season 2!  Shame on NBC for pushing WHITNEY and CHELSEA so hard and leaving this brilliant show to flounder in the deadly waters of April, when TV viewers are suffering from premiere-exhaustion.  Give BEST FRIENDS FOREVER a chance!

What did you think, Fellow Addicts? Were you drawn in by the relationships between Jessica, Lennon and Joe? Are you as obsessed with Queenetta as I am? Vote in the poll below and then hit the comments!

(For the complete rundown of when all the new shows are premiering, check out my 2012 Midseason TV Preview.)

What did you think of BEST FRIENDS FOREVER?