Friday, January 13, 2012

PilotWatch: ROB

CBS Thursdays @ 9:30

What's it about?
ROB is a comedy starring Rob Schneider as a lifelong bachelor who just married into a tight-knit Mexican-America family.  Rob is a successful landscape architect who, after a whirlwind romance, marries Maggie, a beautiful, smart book translator, who is way out of his league.  After eloping in las Vegas, Maggie and Rob must break the news to her overprotective, judgmental parents, Rosa and Fernando, that they are married.  Shocked by news that they've eloped, the family remains skeptical of Maggie's choice for a husband, with the exception of her uncle Hector, the black sheep of the family, who immediately declares himself Rob's best friend.  Rob hopes he will one day win over his new in-laws, aunts, uncles and Maggie's Abuelita, and live happily ever after with his one true love, Maggie.

You should watch if...
• you are the kind of person who goes around spouting racist jokes.
• you are the kind of person who enjoys Rob Schneider.
(I honestly can't decide which of those is worse.)

So, how was it?
2011-2012 may be setting the record for most offensive, most poorly written, most eye-gougingly awful season of television ever.  ROB is only the latest in a slew of face-palm-worthy sitcoms (its partners in crime being: WHITNEY, HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN, LAST MAN STANDING, ALLEN GREGORY, I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER, and WORK IT!).  Can we just pretend like none of these ever happened?  On the bright side, they've set an incredibly low bar for 2012-2013.

The pilot of ROB was 20 soul-crushing minutes of unrelenting jokes about Hispanics, Catholics, old people, women, gardeners, and even hoarders.  As a critic for Entertainment Weekly put it, "Look out, WORK IT, you  may have some competition in the outdated and culturally insensitive department."  Which is really saying something.

Imagine, for a moment, that the writers of MODERN FAMILY had decided to focus solely on Jay and Gloria.  Then they recast Ed O'Neill with Rob Schneider.  Then they rounded out the supporting cast with a horde of stereotypical, accent-heavy Hispanics.  Then the writers were all struck by lightning and replaced with chimpanzees, who proceded to mindlessly poke at some typewriters until CBS had enough pages and randomly collected them into a loose version of a "script."  Throw in an ear-grating laugh track on top, and you've got ROB.

If you're not weeping inside right now, then this show was made for you.

Rating:
* Atrocious. I will never watch this show again. Ever.
It's sad that out of the 7 midseason shows that have premiered thus far, this is the 4th Atrocious rating I've had to give (1 was Okay and 2 were Solid).  I'm really at a loss for how such blatantly offensive dreck continues to make its way onto our airwaves.  How did anyone think this show was a good idea?  How did anyone think that any show starring Rob Schneider was a good idea?  It's beyond me.

Take it away, Fellow Addicts.  Were you as shocked by the insensitiveness as I was?  Or did you find it amusing?  Or were you not shocked merely because your soul is now dead after being so mercilessly assaulted by atrocity after atrocity this season?  Vote in the poll below and then hit the comments!

(For the complete rundown of when all the new shows are premiering, check out my 2012 Midseason TV Preview.)

What did you think of ROB?

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